Fortune Hunting

A not so quiet day in the country

Fiction by A.J. Rothwell   

 

Lord Blenkinsop was a good man. Good family. Acquaintance of the king. Wide of girth. Not the sharpest knife. Took his responsibilities seriously, though, always had.

One of them being the further education of his nephew Nigel Carruthers.

When he was 19, Nigel’s courageous Royal Naval father, Captain William Carruthers, had been killed by a musket ball on his own poop deck while serving His Majesty on the sloop HMS Orion, fighting the French off Brest. “Damn that little shrimp Boney and his dastardly ambitions,” muttered His Lordship at Carruthers’ funeral as the service wore on. And that is when, in an instant, he decided that it was his solemn duty, in loco parentis, so to speak, to make sure Nigel was schooled in the ways of the world.

With no children of his own he had always taken an interest in the boy, who he felt had lived a rather sheltered life, as it were, fencing and dancing instructors, if you please. The result was that he had few friends of his own age with whom to get out and about.

When Blenkers (as he was affectionately known in the family) put the idea to Marjorie Carruthers she agreed wholeheartedly — the tutoring had been her husband’s idea and had severely restricted her social life, as it required her to be at home rather than out with the fashionable set to which she felt she belonged, a ruse of the oft-absent Captain. But now that her husband had departed this mortal coil, Blenkinsop’s notion suited her down to the ground: She needed to see and be seen in society, even if her attire was, temporarily, mourning black.

His Lordship planned an agenda for the proper instruction of a young man entering London society. First he took him to his club, where he had his first proper taste of alcohol, a brandy no less, reading The Times in a large leather armchair after a good lunch — quite the gentleman about town. On another day they went to a coffee shop, a place of male intrigue if ever there was one, concluded Nigel; it appealed to him a great deal, and he entered into some interesting conversations. On another it was off to the House of Commons, where shouting down the current speaker seemed to be the order of the day, but where again he took a keen interest in the proceedings. In the evenings they visited a tavern or two, where he evinced quite a deal of attention from the ladies, unused to seeing young men in their teens in city inns.

The longer this “education” went on the more Nigel seemed to be enjoying it. He was getting a taste for ale and brandy, and His Lordship was very pleased with the way the programme was proceeding and with the boy’s keen interest and sharp mind. “Blossoming, if you ask me,” reported Blenkinsop to Marjorie Carruthers, “like a bottle long-stoppered, finally released!” She’d noticed the change too and was all for it — the more he was his own man the more freedom she would have.

Next it was to be the country, for they were “cits,” and if you were a cit it was fashionable to spend time getting back to your roots by going out to the country — riding, hunting and mixing with the country folk. “Salt of the earth,” Lord B proclaimed to Nigel, “not used to the ways of London, but happy with their lot. Hearts of oak don’t you know. They’d give you the shirt off their back. I’ll take you out as my groomsman and show you the ropes.”

On the appointed day for their country excursion, Lord B hired a post chaise, which took them, already regaled in their equine garb, to Sarratt in Hertfordshire and to The Boot Inn, where decent hunting horses were to be had by the day for a few shillings. The vicar of Sarratt was an old acquaintance of His Lordship and had spoken glowingly of the countryside around the village. They looked quite a pair — Lord Blenkinsop being, let us say, rotund and dressed in traditional hunting clothes straining at the seams, while Nigel was as thin as a rake and attired in a baggy blue groom’s coat and wide-brimmed hat — not exactly the country squires they hoped to be taken for.

They duly arrived at The Boot, ordered two horses to be saddled, and after a pint of ale and some bread and cheese, they mounted up. Using a rough map the landlord prepared for them with a recommended route, they made their way past the church until they were able to break off into the fields and copses.

They spent the next hour or so pretending to be huntsmen, shouting “tally-ho,” chasing after imaginary foxes and wishing they had guns whenever a pheasant got up in front of them. Following the map, they eventually started to head back to the village when the horses suddenly set back their ears and made for a stand of trees some way off at a good gallop. In spite of their best attempts to slow them down, the horses kept to their course, and before long, arrived among the trees where they came to a halt in a clearing. The would-be huntsmen, who couldn’t understand what had gotten into the horses, dismounted to get their breath back, and as they did so, an old lady and a good-looking young wench, both dressed in ragged clothes, emerged from the trees and started to feed apples to the horses.

As they did, the old lady spoke: “What you be doin’ ’ere, sur?

“If you must know, we’re just out from London, taking the air and getting a little exercise,” said Blenkinsop rather testily, unused as he was to being questioned by someone dressed in rags.

“You be trespassin’ on those ’orses, sur,” said the old lady. “This be crown land, belongin’ to the king you understan’, only folks on foot ’ave roight o’ way ’cross it.”

Oh, dear,” said His Lordship, now looking distinctly flushed.

“But we don’t ’ave to report it to no one under certain circumstances,” the old lady continued, half closing one eye and raising a crooked finger to make her point.

“And what would those circumstances be?” asked Lord B.

“Well, let me see now,” said the old lady, “how about you press some silver into my palm and I’ll tell your fortune, and Mary here will tell your young friend’s and we need never say nothing more ’bout it.”

“I suppose that would be all right,” said Blenkinsop, softening, as he had no desire to do anything that would put him in bad odor with His Majesty, to whom he owed his peerage. “How much would you suggest?”

Not the best question, for it gave the old lady the upper hand.

“Well, let’s see,” said she. “I should think a couple o’ guineas should cover the situation.”

“Two guineas!” exclaimed Blenkinsop, turning red in the face. “That’s highway robbery, ma’am, and you know it!”

“Do I? Do I, now?” said the old crone. “Well, suit yerself. We’ll just ’ave to report yer then, won’t we?”

“That won’t be necessary,” said His Lordship, who knew when he was on the losing end of a bargain from a lifetime of experience, “but these fortunes better be good.”

During this exchange Nigel had been ogling the young girl, who had gained his complete attention. She was the comeliest girl he had ever seen, and she was also showing an interest in him. Unfortunately for our heroes, they had not noticed that, while thus distracted, a third gypsy was hanging down from a tree and rifling through the portmanteau on the back of Blenkinsop’s horse while a fourth was expertly picking his pockets.

Meanwhile, the old lady held out her hand to Lord B, who reluctantly took out the necessary coinage from his waistcoat pocket. She carefully counted the money and told the wench — Mary, she called her — to get started.

The young girl took Nigel’s hand. “That’s an intrestin’ palm if ever oi saw ’un,” said she. “Let’s see now. Yer’ll ’av a long loif, sur, an’ yer’ll be lucky in luv an’ be blessed wi’ many healthy chillen. That’s all oi see there.”

“Is that it?” exclaimed Lord B. “That’s about a shilling a word! Is that the best you can do?”

The old lady chimed in, “If oi were you, sur, I’d remember wot oi said about trespassin’ on the king’s land an’ count moiself lucky. Now let’s see yer palm.”

Come on, Nigel, I’m not waiting to hear what rot they have to say about me,” said His Lordship, resigned to having been taken advantage of. “Let’s leave these witches and get back to the inn and wash the taste of them out of our mouths.”

“Wery noice sentiments, oi must say,” said the old lady. “Be off wi’ yer then an’ take more care where yer go nex’ toim.”

The horses, it seemed, had had their fill of apples and were content to take their riders back to the The Boot, with Nigel occasionally looking back to see if he could get a last glimpse of the girl — he could still feel her hand holding his — but she had disappeared. They arrived at the tavern and looked for the landlord to tell him what had happened, but he was nowhere to be seen. They told the coachman to load their belongings into the post chaise and stand guard, ordered their ale from a serving girl and fumed over their expensive experience.

After a while they began to relax, deciding to order another ale “for the road,” and Lord B finally saw the funny side of their outing when Nigel commented on his statement about country folk giving them the shirts from their backs.

“More like we lost our shirts,” guffawed Lord B, a typical Blenkers attempt at humour. “Time to go. Your mother will be wondering what’s happened to us.”

“I’ll need to relieve myself for the journey first, Uncle,” said Nigel.

Off you go then, I’ll settle up. See you in the coach.”

Nigel made his way across the inn’s courtyard and ’round behind the stables to the privy, but as he was standing there he heard muffled voices from inside. In disbelief he thought he recognized the old lady’s scratchy voice. Could it be, he thought, and leant closer to the wall.

“Oh yes, we took ’em proper” she was saying. “You trained them ’orses well, Jim — came straight to us, didn’t they, Mary? They luv them apples! Two guineas in my palm and Billy ’ere got two pocket watches with chains and our Sal got a couple o’ silk kerchiefs. ’Ere’s yer share and good luck to the lot o’ us!”

By this time Nigel had crept round the front of the building, grabbed a pitchfork leaning up against the wall, and threw open the door, shouting, “Caught you red-handed, you scoundrels! You’re not getting away with this! Do you know that’s Lord Blenkinsop you just robbed, a confidente of the king himself, whose name you just took in vain out there in the woods — probably a hanging offence!”

With which he leveled the pitchfork at the landlord’s throat as though it was a rapier and said, “Put all the money and the watches in the handkerchiefs and tie them up and hand them over.” He made a jab with the pitchfork to show he meant business. The landlord flinched, and with trembling fingers did as he was told. He had gone white, while the women just stood there, their mouths gaping open.

“Now the next part is up to you,” Nigel said looking at them one by one. “We can either have a constable come out here and have you all arrested and locked up, if you’re not hung, or you can solemnly swear that you will discontinue this loathsome practice here and now.”

This statement was greeted with silence other than the sound of the old lady wringing her hands and moaning and the landlord’s knees knocking. “Very well, I shall call my uncle and he will take the matter over.”

“No, no, no,” said the landlord, looking at the others, who nodded vehemently in agreement. They knew the penalties for what they were doing and it sounded like they were going to be given a second chance. “That won’t be necessary, young sir. We were misguided. Very misguided. We’ll stop today, here and now, we swear. On the Holy Bible. Don’t we, ladies?”

“Yes. Yes.” they said, out of very dry throats.

“Very well,” said Nigel, “but to make sure you do, Lord Blenkinsop will write a letter to his friend the vicar here and tell him what has transpired today, that you have sworn to stop your thievery, but that if he hears anything to the contrary he is to contact us and we will put the wheels in motion for you all to be arrested. Good-bye to you and I hope I never have to see your faces again.”

One last look at the girl, who didn’t know whether to be impressed or furious, and Nigel was gone, climbing into the coach. Seconds later they were out of the courtyard and on the road back to London when His Lordship asked, “Do you usually take so long to relieve yourself, my boy? I wondered what had happened to you.”

Nigel’s reply was to ask him to open his hands. “Playing a game, are we?” he inquired.

“You’ll see, Uncle,” said Nigel, then pulled out the handkerchiefs from his pocket and untied them.

“Good lord,” said his uncle, “there’s my money — and our watches! Where did they come from?”

Nigel recounted the whole story to an astonished member of the peerage. Blenkers wasn’t sure if his nephew had made the right decision about letting them off so lightly, but he was impressed with the young man’s quick thinking and courageous action.

“Your father would have been very proud of you, as am I,” he said. “Swift, decisive action. Definitely a chip off the old Carruthers block!”

“And to think I was taken with that girl back there,” said Nigel, shaking his head.

“A part of your education I hadn’t reckoned on, I must say,” replied Lord B with a wry smile.

The poste chaise eventually arrived back at the Carruthers residence after a most interesting, and as it turned out, exciting day.

“Do we tell your mother?” asked His Lordship.

“Let’s just tell her we’ve had a good day fortune hunting, eh, Uncle? What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?”  PS

A. J. “Tony” Rothwell moved to Pinehurst in 2017, exchanging the mind-numbing traffic of Washington, D.C., for the vagaries of golf. He spent 50 years in the hotel business but in retirement collects caricatures, writes short stories, sings in the Moore County Choral Society and, with his wife Camilla, enjoys the many friends they have made in the Sandhills.

Fact and Fiction

Captain Carruthers would have been on blockade duty off Brest, intended to stop French ships getting in or out of harbour. It was long and tedious duty but every now and again one or more ships would take a chance and a sea battle would ensue if they were spotted. Both the French and the English employed snipers with muskets in the top rigging to shoot officers with the objective of weakening the resolve and organization of the opposing force.

The king referred to is George III, known affectionately by his subjects as Farmer George from his rather bucolic manner of speech.

There is to this day an inn called The Boot in Sarratt, Hertfordshire, built in 1739, some 40 years before the setting for this story.

“Cits” ( a slang name for people who lived in the city of London at the time of the setting for this story) had a hankering for the pursuits and clean air of the countryside, for much of London was squalid, unsavory and smoky. Further evidence of this is that two of the most popular painters of the day were George Stubbs, who specialized in horses, and George Morland, who painted rustic scenes.

Robbery was punishable by hanging, especially if violence was involved, in the 18th and early 19th centuries.

“Fortune Hunting” is an original print, engraved by the great caricaturist James Gillray from a sketch by Brownlow North who would bring ideas to Gillray so that he could have prints run off to give to his friends. It was hand-colored and published in 1804.

As for the rest — pure fiction.

Simply ReMarkable

An evolved generalist interprets modern farmhouse in West End

By Deborah Salomon     Photographs By John Koob Gessner

Leonardo daVinci painted portraits and designed military hardware — kitchen appliances, too. He wrote treatises on science, math and life. Thus the phrase “Renaissance man,” a sweeping mantle worn by Dr. Mark Ridinger, a radiologist who practices what he calls the duality of life — physical and spiritual — who grows 10 varieties of heirloom tomatoes, six of peppers and four basils in his organic hugellkulture raised garden bed. A cook who planned an “intuitive kitchen” and bathes in a “wet room” with open shower. An eye soothed by white shiplap (horizontal boards) exterior.

Digging deeper, his blog, entitled “The Evolved Generalist” states:

“Increasingly, there is a bifurcation of prognostications of what may come with the development of so-called strong artificial intelligence — AI proponents say it will afford an opportunity for humankind to be free of the yoke of repetition and monotony.”

Interesting people don’t thrive in cracker boxes. Ridinger has designed a lakeside house in West End apart from any in Moore County. A house that leaps forward rather than glorifying the past. A house meriting Architectural Digest over Antiques Roadshow.

A house which appears from the exterior plain, simple, Shaker-utilitarian with Japanese overtones. Nevertheless, Ridinger classifies it a modern farmhouse, the architectural trope popular with millennials. A metal roof, yes, but no wraparound porch and potted geraniums.

Instead, notice two olive trees and two lemon trees facing a low gabion: This retaining wall composed of smooth stones encased in wire cages was used by ancient Egyptians to divert the Nile, later by encamped Romans. His cages stacked two deep stretching 80 feet hold 20 tons of rock. This wall facing the infant olive trees serves secondarily as a solar collector, to warm them come winter. The potted lemon trees, however, will be moved inside the garage to overwinter by a sunny window installed for this purpose. If all goes well, eventually Ridinger will press his own olive oil. A squeeze of lemon juice . . . and the salad’s dressed.

Flowers come from a garden planted in indigenous wildflowers, where he starts the day at 6 a.m.

Which doesn’t leave much time for reading X-rays.

Which is why Ridinger doesn’t any more.

Ridinger grew up and attended medical school in Chicago, followed by a residency at Duke. His family home was traditional, bordering French Provincial, he laughs. North Carolina suited his purposes. During the late 1990s he commuted from Durham to a practice in Pinehurst, staying at the Holly Inn week nights.

“I got to know the area,” he says. “I was looking for land somewhere in the Carolinas, maybe Chapel Hill. But I wanted to be near water and stumbled upon this place.”

Golf wasn’t a factor. By now, neither is radiology. After his residency, Ridinger co-founded a health care information software company. Its sale, leaving him as chief medical officer, enabled exploration of other interests, primarily design.

“I have two sides.”

The lifelong tinkerer watched his father, an engineer, build radios. His artistic side plays the guitar, collects modern art and interprets living space, believing “as society moves to hyper-specialization, and with the advent of artificial intelligence, the softer human qualities will be in demand.”

In demand — perhaps marketable, with this house as his business card. He feels qualified to consult on the modern farmhouse style, which Architectural Digest describes as a classic motif made inventive and elegant, incorporating timber cladding, A-frame roofs and loft spaces with a sleeker spin . . . streamlined but still connected to its natural surroundings.

Ridinger’s adaptation grew from the site purchased in 2017, which juts out into Lake Troy Douglas, where he kayaks. Fifty-three feet of glass across the living area face north to avoid glare. Myrtle trees planted along the southern border filter light, since only the bedrooms have window treatments. Once inside, any resemblance to a farmhouse, modern or otherwise, disappears. Gasp.

The longitudinal space with 12-foot ceilings divided into living room, dining room and kitchen, all overlooking the lake, is breathtaking in white, black, stainless steel. Gray oak floor. A real Eames chair. Elongated sofa in rust velvet. A sound system with turntable. World War II propeller ceiling fans. Two-sided wood-burning fireplace. A dining table following the Japanese tradition of a thick polished slab, here black walnut, with irregular edges surrounded by chairs on one side, a bench upholstered in apricot velvet on the other, “just to be different.”

Ridinger learned to cook from his Italian mother. “There’s nothing worse than an unintuitative kitchen.” He arranged his in three sections: prep, cooking, cleanup. His range has multiple parts: gas burners, a Wolf induction cooktop requiring special pots, several oven options and a microwave. The range is placed so he will face guests seated at the table as he prepares their meal. A Sub-Zero hides behind flush stainless cabinetry. His cleanup sink is big enough to hold an alligator. Clutter is banned. Tabletop appliances and coffee machines remain out of sight, in “garages.”

No TV chef is better equipped.

The mud room has a doggie bath tub with grooming accessories, for his next golden retriever.

Color? “My plants and art are the color,” Ridinger says. Each painting recalls his life situation at the time of its acquisition. Wall space allows for oversize canvases. One, a stylized grove of sycamore trees, has a spot of turquoise at the edge which he repeats in throw cushions. A lime green ceramic platter punctuates the neo-industrial kitchen. A tall leafy plant grows from gingerroot, available for digging should a recipe stipulate.

His office juts out toward the lake like a ship’s bow. The guest bedroom, also in this wing, accommodates his sole furniture holdovers: a four-poster made in North Carolina, and a handsome antique reproduction bureau which, in this setting, look like they were relocated from Kansas by Dorothy’s tornado.

Ridinger wanted a master suite in ever-so-slightly softened colors. The gray is earthier, the white less glaring, the floors cherry. He introduces cocoa via a leather chair and wall faux-painted to resemble fabric.

The eye-openers here (aside from artsy female nudes) are the massive sliding barn doors separating the suite from the hallway and, in the enormous bathroom, vanity cabinets conceived by Ridinger as an homage to Frank Lloyd Wright’s Fallingwater residence built over a waterfall in Pennsylvania. Planks of sapele wood are staggered at three levels; one holds a vessel sink, another a drop-in. Stand back and imagine water cascading down the steps.

 

The result: Californian, likely Monterey on a cliff overlooking the Pacific. In Moore County, perhaps a turning point for farm gentry retired from gritty northern metropolises.

However, Mark Redinger’s highly personal interpretation will not likely be duplicated. It stands a monument to the physician-turned-philosopher seeking freedom, as stated, from repetition and monotony. He feels a Zen vibe in the house that, he says, keeps on giving. True, the process may have been painstaking — persnickety, his word. But for him the finished product justifies attention to many details.

“I spend so much time here. Now, I feel at home.”  PS

The Accidental Astrologer

Guts, Game and the Good Life

Virgos have it all

 

By Astrid Stellanova

By September, ole summertime holds on like the last drop of sweat.

September-born Virgo children have guts and game — and a taste for the good life, especially if you can plate it or pour it in a fancy glass. A few: Queen Elizabeth I, Prince Harry, Greta Garbo and Lauren Bacall, and the first woman to run for President, Victoria Woodhull. To that add a short list of a long list of actors: Charlie Sheen, Danielle Brooks, Lily Tomlin, Michael Keaton and Salma Hayek. Plum crazy, right? Virgo birthday celebrations sizzle like frog legs (or fried chicken) in a cast-iron pan. The Colonel himself, Harlan Sanders, was a finger-lickin’ Virgo. Let’s talk food and drink, Star Children.

 

Virgo (August 23–September 22)

That famous old curmudgeon Hemingway said he drank to make other people interesting. What makes you break out the bubbly? If nothing else, celebrate a year of wild-child creativity at the cusp. This may just be your best year ever, Sugar Foot. So hit the dance floor, do the worm, get down tonight, and savor that muscadine slurpee.

Libra (September. 23–October 22)

The slump you’ve been in is going to come to an end. Best of all, you will have a breakthrough versus a breakdown. Somebody close to you is biting their tongue and you owe them. Treat ’em right; your tastes in spirits are downright amazing, and you owe more than one round.

Scorpio (October 23–November 21)

When you did one of those drink-and-paint the ducky nights, turns out you sure do have a gift — for drinking. Don’t sulk, because your ducky was the most original. Originality is one of your trademarks, but so is radio silence, Honey. Open up and call a friend.

Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

You got catfished. Conned. But it wasn’t all a failure, Sugar. The catfish in life keep the rest of us on our tippy toes. You won’t be caught again. And, it keeps you intrigued. Plus, catfish themselves are pretty damn tasty dipped in corn meal and fried up.

Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

Your mouth may be saying cheese, chocolate and a malted, but your jeans are saying, for goddsakes, order soup and salad. The bingeing was fun, Honey Bun, but now it’s done and get your sweet self back in training for that killer fall wardrobe you wanna rock.

Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

You get emotional just doing the Happy Baby pose in yoga. And you have been known to express your feelings in the most unusual ways, Sugar. Whatever has made you so vulnerable is intensifying but will release by the month’s end so you find a way to chill without a smoothie or a milkshake.

Pisces (February 19–March 20)

Innocent soybeans died for your veggie burger, Sugar. You have imposed a lot of strict ideas on yourself and others, but remember you can’t survive without making a lot of choices. And some are going to be far harder than skipping a mouth-watering bacon cheeseburger.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Well, a good friend just pickled your okra, didn’t they? Now you have to put up or shut up, which is a Devil’s bargain. There’s no shame in just holding back one more hot minute before you unload your bucket. Patience is going to be your best ally.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Sure, you can make wine disappear, but, Honey, that is not some kind of a super power. Not exactly. But, in one way, the best thing you can do is keep your mouth full, because not everybody is buying what you have been selling lately.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

You are at a crossroads, Sweet Pea. Can you be honest all of the time? Because you have hurt some people who care about you and left them wondering if you care for them. Do not feel compelled to tell Aunt Ida her cooking stinks. She’s too old and too tired from a lifetime at the hot stove.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

You towed your bass boat to the wrong lake. You backed into the wrong situation. Maybe you put in, maybe you fished, but you are in the wrong place, Honey. If you can find a graceful exit, go home and grill the catch of the day before you get hooked.

Leo (July 23–August 22)

Were you slurring or trying to talk in cursive, Sugar? Seriously, you were way more entertaining than you even remember. Now you have to get some steel in your back and face up to a situation that will require you to be sober and serious — if only about what you will cook for dinner.  PS

For years, Astrid Stellanova owned and operated Curl Up and Dye Beauty Salon in the boondocks of North Carolina until arthritic fingers and her popular astrological readings provoked a new career path.

Hometown

Manhattan Memories

From the Pines to Park Avenue

 

By Bill Fields

My New York Days, to borrow the title of Willie Morris’ 1993 memoir, weren’t much like those of the Mississippi-born writer and editor, who led Harper’s in the late 1960s as it documented the political and cultural doings of that tumultuous time.

Aside from the fact that we were both small-town Southerners who moved to the big city, the only other similarity was where, geographically speaking, we worked. His office was at 2 Park Avenue. Mine, at Golf Illustrated magazine two decades later, was located at 3 Park Avenue, across the street.

The building that housed Golf Illustrated for a handful of years, until the publication’s abrupt closing in 1991, is on the southeast corner of 34th Street. Built of bricks the color of café con leche, 3 Park stands 42 stories and is aligned diagonally on the block. It was designed by Shreve, Lamb & Harmon, architects of the Empire State Building, and 3 Park’s proximity to its famous neighbor — along with a distinctive shape and hue — make it easy to spot flying in and out of New York.

Seeing it upon takeoff or approach at LaGuardia takes me back. I lived in the city from 1986-88 and commuted from Connecticut for three additional years, until Golf Illustrated’s owner pulled the plug and gave us two days to pack up.

I had only been to New York twice before I became a senior editor and photographer at the magazine — laying over for a few hours in 1980 during a long bus ride, and two years later when I made a summer visit to a former college roommate who was living in the Bronx.

We took long rides in hot, graffiti-rich subway cars, hung out at museums and Central Park, drank a bunch of beers at McSorley’s and elsewhere, and closed some of the long nights at a Greek diner. Driving me around the Bronx in his beater, Bernie pointed out the apartments where serial killer David Berkowitz had lived before the “Son of Sam” murders. The Yankees were in town, and we bought cheap seats for a Saturday afternoon game. My vocabulary was enriched during those couple of hours in the right field bleachers. It was not Bob Sheppard’s precise baritone over the P.A. that lingered with me but the language of the louts jostling for a drink at the water fountain.

Although Bernie got me a gratis room in the Bronx for a few days to hunt for an apartment once I was hired by Golf Illustrated and suggested I consider the borough for my new home, I settled elsewhere. For $725 a month, I rented a one-bedroom in a brownstone in the Carroll Gardens section of Brooklyn, then predominantly an Italian neighborhood and only starting to become gentrified. It was almost three times my rent in North Carolina, and I traded a fireplace and a yard for a kitchen and bathroom sized for a kindergartner. 

My place was a short walk to the Carroll Street subway station, where I got on an F train for the trip to 34th and 6th Avenue in Manhattan — between 20 and 25 minutes without any delays. From there, I walked down 34th Street, right past the Empire State Building, to the magazine. We were housed in a couple of different offices at 3 Park, none lower than the 31st floor, each with an astounding view compared to where I’d come from.

It was a new world. I’m not sure how brave I was, but I coped with it. The pleasure of those days — having gotten the opportunity to fulfill a dream by moving to New York — surely exceeded the anxiety. Although I explored the city, I wish I had been more adventuresome. My only true regret, though, is not splurging on an air conditioner during the infernal summer of ’87, even if I had to strap it on my back and walk it over the Brooklyn Bridge and all the way down Court Street. New York was more stifling than North Carolina had ever felt.

My former neighborhood, like the larger city, doesn’t much resemble its 1980s self aside from the brownstones themselves, which have soared in value. What I paid in rent probably would get me a twin bed in a crowded share. Manhattan is full of chain stores, places not unique to the city. It’s not as gritty, or charming, as when I moved there. To see 3 Park Avenue from the air is not only to recall a place and a time but a person, young and excited, eager for the next chapter.  PS

Southern Pines native Bill Fields, who writes about golf and other things, moved north in 1986 but hasn’t lost his accent.

Drinking with Writers

Coffee with Conscience

Best-selling novelist Amy Reed on Asheville writers,
young adult books and the challenge of living one’s values

By Wiley Cash     Photographs by Mallory Cash

There are countless humiliations specifically reserved for writers, from online reviews — Book arrived late. One-star — to empty chairs in the audience at a reading to sitting beside someone on an airplane who, after asking you what you do for a living, tells you he or she has never heard of you or your books.

One rarely discussed humiliation is the signing line. Signing lines can be lonely places for authors, especially during literary festivals when a much better known and beloved writer is signing hundreds of books at the table beside yours. Once, at a book festival in Nashville, Tennessee, I signed — which is to say I did not sign — books beside Bill Bryson. I also did not sign books beside Sue Monk Kidd at a literary festival in Florida. Last year, at the Doris Betts Spring Literary Festival in Statesville, North Carolina, I did not sign books beside novelist Amy Reed.

In early August, Amy and I sat down over coffee at Odd’s Café on Haywood Road in West Asheville, North Carolina, and I reminded her of our time together signing (and not signing) books at the festival in Statesville. Amy moved to Asheville from Seattle years ago, and she regularly writes at Odd’s Café, which, like most things in West Asheville, is odd. A few years back, the slogan “Keep Asheville Weird” appeared, and while Asheville as a whole has gotten less weird over the ensuing decade, West Asheville has maintained the city’s weirdness, its penchant for the arts, and an open invitation to artists of all kinds.

A stroll down Haywood Road in the heart of West Asheville reveals gorgeous murals painted on the sides of independent bookstores, coffee shops and hipster consignment stores. I feel more at home in West Asheville than I do in just about any other place in the country, and Amy Reed might just agree. Our conversation quickly turns to the city’s writing community.

“There are so many amazing writers here, especially young adult writers,” she says. She takes a sip of her coffee and gazes out at Haywood Road, where people pass in cars and on foot. The names of the local writers she rattles off next are a virtual Who’s Who of national and international bestsellers: “Alan Gratz, Alexandra Duncan, Stephanie Perkins, Beth Revis, and Jaye Robin Brown are just a few. Asheville’s writing community is so welcoming. Writing is a solitary profession, so it’s great when you’re able to connect with another writer.”

It is not just her colleagues in the local YA community that Amy has connected with. I remind her of the string of young people who waited in line to have their books signed at the literary festival in Statesville. Most of them were clutching a copy of her novel The Girls of Nowhere, which tells the story of three high school girls in Oregon who band together to fight back against misogyny and abuse at their high school, an act that transforms not only the students and their teachers, but their entire town.

I ask her why she thinks The Girls of Nowhere resonates with so many young people. “There’s just something universal about the teen experience,” she says. “When we’re teens we’re the most vulnerable and raw, and the stakes are so high. Teens want to read about themselves and their problems, and sometimes adults want to remember the teenagers they were.”

I agree. There is value in finding yourself on the page, and you can always return to the books you loved as a teen and find yourself there, which may explain adults’ sustained love for books like The Outsiders, Catcher in the Rye, and I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

I ask Amy what kind of reader she was as a teenager growing up in Seattle. She laughs and rolls her eyes. “I loved Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath,” she says. “It was Seattle in the ’90s. Grunge was everywhere, but I was into female singer/songwriters. I was emo before emo was a thing. I was that girl.”

My two daughters, ages 4 and 3, are sitting at a table beside us, playing quietly. I confide to Amy that I consider my own books as time capsules that my daughters can read to discover who I was and what was important to me. I ask her if she thinks of her own books that way, as breadcrumbs she is leaving behind for her 6-year-old daughter so that she can know what her mother believed to be important and true.

“I do,” she says. “I try to live in a way that mirrors my values, especially now that I have a daughter. She was raised understanding that women and girls are strong and independent. I think she will find that in my books.”

Amy’s new novel, The Boy and Girl Who Broke the World, tells the emotional and humorous story of two young outcasts — an optimistic boy named Billy and a cynical girl named Lydia — whose bond may just save the world just as the world seems to be ending. Despite its surreal plotline, which involves a narcissistic rock star and a war between unicorns and dragons, the book is a lesson in honesty and vulnerability.

Apparently, writing about the apocalypse interested Amy enough to imagine a dystopian America in her next novel, which she describes as a near future gender-swapped, feminist retelling of The Great Gatsby set on an island off the coast of Seattle. “It’s very weird and dark and twisty,” she says. “In the novel, the world is falling apart, but the girl at the center of the book is able to find her own power.”

I’ll read it, and, once they are old enough, I’ll want my daughters to read it, too.  PS

Wiley Cash lives in Wilmington with his wife and their two daughters. His latest novel, The Last Ballad, is available wherever books are sold.

Out of the Blue

Back to the School of Life

Where we’re all graded on the curve

By Deborah Salomon

Back to school is one calendar event that justifies commercialization. Makes sense that over the summer kids grow out of clothes and shoes. They need notebooks and backpacks and haircuts. But the very phrase provokes mixed memories: being the “new girl” from Mars in a class where the other kids’ mothers had been BFFs . . . not good. Freshman year at Duke, getting lost first day of classes . . . terrifying. Next three years . . . glorious. It also reminds me of what I did and didn’t learn beyond the three R’s and other “core curriculum” requirements, now gone with the wind.

Then, my practical side conjures ways to incorporate life skills into a syllabus.

Sociology, for example. This people science would benefit from a segment on obituaries. Fascinating, how people’s lives progress, how names modernized (Ida’s granddaughters Skye and Madison), then returned to Emma and Sarah, Dorothy and Frances. Obits bid farewell to the last generation of “homemakers” who knitted and gardened and taught Sunday School; wording finally recognizes domestic and/or same-sex partnerships. Obits prove pets’ importance for the isolated and lonely. Also how death has become a social event, with jokes, casual descriptions of the deceased, and receptions at the golf club or restaurant occasionally replacing a funeral.

Death rituals are vital to studying society. Reference the ancient Egyptians.

If I taught history or economics I might require students to Google their previous homes. Shocker alert! If the property has been recently on the market, the Realtor might post a virtual tour. The tiny two-bedroom New York City apartment in a then-nice neighborhood where I grew up became junkie junction before the tide turned. Our rent in the 1940s was about $50; now, the apartment rents for nearly $3K. Or, buy it for $400K.

Anyway, seeing empty rooms with gleaming floors where once you played can be an unsettling experience.

Phys. Ed. majors (previously known as jocks) need a course in athletic attire, especially footwear, which may cost more than Italian leather loafers. Brands speak allegiance. Mustn’t wear shoes endorsed by your fave’s arch rival.

Seems like medical/dental students already take advanced placement courses in office décor. I am all too familiar with reception and treatment rooms of local dentists, oral surgeons, endodontists and prosthodontists. No periodonture yet but the night is young. My dentist’s office is a happy place staffed by happy people who could not possibly inflict pain. It keeps the latest issues of the best magazines. Sometimes I arrive early, just to read them. Another provider has water babbling into a rocky pond — which sends me straight to the restroom. My latest specialist offers a glass-front mini-fridge stocked with bottled water, also a Keurig machine, as well as tufted leather sofas and landscapes by a prominent local artist. The common feature: birdfeeders, sometimes formal gardens, placed in view of treatment chaise lounges. Very soothing, as is the music, either classical or Billy Joel-style soft rock. Makes you almost look forward to a root canal.

The providers’ subliminal message: I am good. I am successful. I can afford the niceties.

Agreed. I will gladly put my money where my mouth is. Nobody wants a dentist with frayed upholstery and 6-month-old Field & Streams.

Wall-mounted TVs remain problematic. CNN or Fox? Don’t want to frighten the horses, let alone fuel controversy among patients.

Physics is the science of matter, its motion and behavior. Parking qualifies. I am a champion parallel parker, having learned The Trick as a teenager. Since men still claim mastery of this maneuver, I suggest every girl learn it before heading out into the real world. Unfortunately, The Trick is best demonstrated, not explained, even with diagrams. You don’t learn to swim on dry land. Physics 101 will now adjourn to the parking lot.

Any modern English course should include interpreting TV advertising prose. Concentrate on medications, cars, financial services (unless already covered in mathematics). Most ads belong to theater of the absurd. A cancer or cardiac patient is seen enjoying “longer life,” preferably with an attractive and loving family (dog, always) at their lakeside retreat. Across the bottom scrolls, in tiny letters. “Actor portrayal. Do not expect these results,” while the voice-over warns of dire complications, including death.

Likewise, car ads are just too ridiculous. No, Subaru doesn’t mean love. It’s simply urabus spelled backward. Once ads are mastered, English students might decipher political speeches, which dance around the subject like witches around a bonfire. Absent from political discourse will be the words YES and NO because why answer a question monosyllabically when you can prevaricate an entire paragraph?

Then, I have sensual memories of school — the woodsy aroma of a full pencil sharpener, the feel of those spongy erasers, the sight of a colored pencil rainbow in a stand-up box. The sound of an empty Thermos rattling around a metal lunch pail. The squeak of chalk against the blackboard.

Too bad an iPad provides neither smell nor squeak. Calculators obviate flash cards and Google combines dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopedia. Siri, did Mommy put a Devil Dog in my lunch box? Those organic oat and cranberry power bars stick in my teeth.

Whatever, I’d still like a mulligan. Because students outgrow sneakers and jeans, state capitals and geometry theorems, but we never outgrow school.  PS

Deborah Salomon is a staff writer for PineStraw and The Pilot. She may be reached at debsalomon@nc.rr.com.

Good Natured

Herbal Asset

A boon to good health

 

By Karen Frye
The time is right to learn more about the herb andrographis. It is gaining in popularity, but many folks may not yet realize the wonderful benefits it gives. This one nutrient has the ability to strengthen the immune system, while also enhancing cardiovascular health, liver and kidney function, joint mobility, and even more. It has been used by herbal practitioners and patients for thousands of years as one of the most effective natural medicines without any side effects.
Andrographis is best known as a botanical that boosts your immune system’s ability to protect you from viruses and bacteria, thus helping us recover from colds and the flu faster and reducing the intensity of the symptoms. It’s a great herb to take as a preventive to keep you well during the upcoming cold and flu season. There’s a need for effective immune-boosting interventions that don’t create the side effects — something that works other than an antibiotic.
There are a lot of clinical studies ongoing with andrographis. One study showed it relieved symptoms including fatigue, sore throat, runny nose and sleeplessness in just two days. By the fourth day the people in the study taking andrographis saw a significant decrease in all symptoms: headache, earache, mucous and coughing.
Andrographis combats dangerous bacteria like staphylococcus by preventing it from replicating and has the ability to help in the treatment of Lyme disease. It’s a powerful antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, antiviral, anti-fungal, cancer preventive, neuroprotective and immune stimulant.
It has been the subject of over 800 studies in the National Institute of Health’s PubMed online database.
Here are some of the findings in theses studies:
Preserves brain/cognitive health, increases brain cell communication and helps handle stress.
Protects heart and arteries, relaxes blood vessels for healthy blood pressure.
Protects the liver (traditionally used to detoxify the liver and repair
liver damage).
Prevents pain, inflammation, arthritis and protects the cushioning cartilage between the joints.
Stops or prevents tumors. Research suggests this herb stops DNA damage and the development and proliferation of brain, skin and pancreatic cancer cells.
Boosts the immune defenses, reducing cold and flu symptoms and can even help fight Lyme disease.
Soothes digestive symptoms, balances pH levels in the stomach, stops inflammation associated with ulcerative colitis, protects the lining of the stomach and intestines against ulcers.
Andrographis may enhance your life in many ways. Read the research. It may be the wonder herb that can improve your health. PS
Karen Frye is the owner and founder of Nature’s Own and teaches yoga at the Bikram Yoga Studio.

Mom Inc

My Little Buddy

S.S. Minnow lands in West Virginia

 

By Renee Whitmore

I am hiding behind a straggly bush at my friend Kat’s house. She lives down the road from my house. Ants are crawling around my bare toes. The ground is damp under my feet. The cool West Virginia air blows through the bush. I have a Walkie Talkie in my left hand, and the static is buzzing in my ear.

“I see him!” I hear through the buzz of my radio. Kat is behind another bush at the house next to hers, watching. Waiting.

I hit the talk button, “Where?”

“Porch.”

I look to his porch, and sure enough, there is he is. Standing alone, wearing his beige hat, smoking a cigarette.

“Get a picture,” I say into my Walkie Talkie.

I imagine her with her Polaroid, squinting with her left eye, framing our subject, pushing the shutter button, spewing a picture out of the front of the camera.

“Got it!” she says.

“10-4.”

Our target is Gilligan. Yes, the Gilligan, the one from the popular ’60s TV series. When Gilligan (Bob Denver) retired from acting, he, his wife and son moved to southern West Virginia just down the road from where I grew up. I spent hours — more than a healthy curiosity should allow — trying to spy on him. After all, I was obsessed with Gilligan’s Island, in black and white and color. And who gets to grow up living on the same block as a celebrity?

Gilligan, however, did not seem to appreciate our fascination. In real life, he wasn’t as, uh, friendly and funny as he was on the show. Who could blame him? An entire life in the spotlight? (And I was way too young to know anything about Dobie Gillis and Maynard G. Krebs.) No wonder he moved to the West Virginia mountains. It’s as primitive as can be, after all.

We used every excuse we could think of to try to see him in person. One day Kat and I were selling chocolate bars for our school’s fundraiser. Without hesitation, we marched ourselves over to his door, and asked if he wanted to buy any. He answered the door wearing the same beige bucket hat he wore every day he was stranded on the island. He bought a box of chocolate bars, but had no interest in a Q&A and closed the door abruptly. I may have been just 9 years old but I wanted an interview. I had questions. Where did they get all that stuff?

Halloween was the perfect time to see Gilligan. I dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood, my brother was a pirate, and my sister was a clown. His front porch light was off, the sure sign to bypass the house. I just couldn’t.

All three of us piled up on the porch and rang the doorbell. His wife answered.

“Trick or treat!” we yelled in unison. She looked alarmed, but gave us a shy smile.

“Is, uh, Gilligan here?” my brother asked. I jabbed him in the stomach with my elbow.

Then we saw him, walking to the door right behind her with his hat on! They poured some Jolly Ranchers and Kit Kat bars into our plastic pumpkins and closed the door before I could say anything else. Disappointed, we trudged to the next house on the mountain.

I was a teenager the last time I saw Gilligan in person. I was browsing in Lowe’s hardware store with my parents and there he was, in the middle of the paint aisle, his beige hat pulled low, covering his eyes.

“Look,” I whispered to my mom. “Gilligan.”

She nodded. “Can I ask for his autograph or something?” I asked.

“Probably not,” she said.

We continued our three-hour tour.  PS

When Renee is not teaching English or being a professional taxi driver for her two boys, she is working on her first book.

Pleasures of Life Dept.

Pimento Cheese, Please

A Southern comfort food for all seasons

 

By Gayvin Powers

The delicious juxtaposition of sharp, smooth, spicy flavors in pimento cheese have been hitting palates for over 100 years. This gussied-up cheese dish regularly crosses the line between being known as a penny-pincher’s pâté to Southern caviar. Over the last century, it has been regularly spotted at potlucks, Sunday dinners, family gatherings, restaurants, funerals and picnics.

Due to the popularity of pimento cheese in the South, many are surprised to discover that it got its start up North and transformed into a culinary masterpiece in its adopted region.

Pimento cheese is hospitality and culture between two slices of white bread. The South can be hard and beautiful, sweet and strong, traditional and innovative. It makes sense that the South adopted a food that can seamlessly go from tea on the porch to a state dinner. It’s chic, down-home, no fuss, full-bodied and eccentric all in one.

Originally, pimento cheese was created during the processed food movement around the turn of the 20th century, and rumors are that the modern twists on it took root once the South adopted it as its own.

The first step in this delightful culinary favorite began in the 1870s when New York farmers were inspired to create an American version of the French Neufchâtel, a soft, unripened cheese. By the early 1900s, an American Neufchâtel (cream cheese) was on shelves for purchase. Around the same time, Spain started shipping canned pimentos, Spanish peppers, to the United States. The mild, colorful pepper and cream cheese concoction fit the processed food movement and needs of homemakers at the time. It brought “order and scientific precision to all aspects of the home, with a particular emphasis on scientific cooking and a neat dinner table,” according to the website Serious Eats.

The first sighting of pimento cheese is in a 1908 Good Housekeeping article. Lovers of modern pimento cheese recipes will notice key ingredients missing in the first recipe, which called for a cream cheese base without any mention of mild and sharp cheeses or mayonnaise. Early on, newspaper columnists and cookbooks encouraged readers to take the bland mix (cream cheese and pimentos) and experiment with spices and flavors. Early renditions of today’s Southern recipe can be seen in a Shreveport, Louisiana, writer’s recommendation of including “mayonnaise, lemon juice and Tabasco.”

By 1910, pimento cheese was being mass-produced and sold by the slice or in jars from Virginia to Oregon. Georgia farms capitalized on the trend in 1911 by growing pimentos, making the expensive imported delicacies more affordable. Pimento cheese was the blue-collar sandwich that inexpensively fed countless World War I soldiers, and was also the height of sophistication as domestic engineers served it in scooped out cabbages at garden and card parties. Prior to World War II, pimento cheese was found throughout everyday life, regularly featured in newspapers, on menus at the lunch counter and in one’s own icebox. Thanks to its mass appeal, Pomona Products Company of Griffin — a Georgia company and one of the United States’ largest packers — reached a pinnacle year in 1938, producing 10 million cans of pimentos.

As pimento cheese evolved, shredded cheese (sharp and mild) was added as a main ingredient. Sharp cheddar cheese features prominently in modern recipes. This addition meant a binding agent was needed. Cue the mayonnaise. Traditionally, cooks used homemade mayonnaise. Some found that homemade mayonnaise lacked the desired flavors, while others swear by it. If someone is going to use store-bought, Duke’s mayonnaise tends to be the enduring favorite. Due to the playful interpretations of pimento cheese recipes, some cooks won’t touch it without jalapeños, bacon, mustard, cayenne pepper or other ingredients.

Pimento cheese has an uncanny ability to walk in both the high cotton and tidal marshes. The Masters is a perfect example of this quintessential dichotomy. Every April at the Augusta National Golf Club, golf aficionados will spare no expense to attend the Masters and, once inside the gates, purchase a coveted pimento cheese on white bread for a whopping $1.50. Made fresh daily, these sandwiches turn a lowbrow meal into a fashionable tradition at a highbrow event.

While pimento cheese plays a featured role in Augusta, the ruby-speckled creation is a veritable chameleon of culinary versatility: Sometimes it’s a supporting role, and other times it’s the lead. Due to its robust flavor, it’s the star of any plate. In the South, it can be layered into or topped on just about anything from celery, grilled cheese sandwiches, fried green tomatoes, Saltines, Ritz crackers, apples, burgers and more. Others consider pimento cheese a main dish, spooning it straight from the bowl.

One of those people is Pinehurst resident Kristie Sullivan, Ph.D., best-selling author and the head of community at Diet Doctor, who is known for her savory and sweet keto meals that over 275,000 people loyally follow on social media every month. In her fourth keto book, Crazy Busy Keto, coming out in November, Sullivan puts her pimento cheese recipe in the main dish section of the cookbook. Her West Coast editors thought a pimento cheese recipe didn’t belong there.

“Oh, you are not from the South,” she told them, laughing.

Pimento cheese found a home in the South and like many transplants, its arrival enhanced the food, culture and hospitality here. One bite can convert anyone.

Original Recipe — Good Housekeeping, 1908

This recipe calls for a blend of cream cheese, mustard, chives and
minced pimentos.

The Masters Pimento Cheese Recipe

(One Man’s Best Guess)

By Dave Lobeck BBQMyWay writer for News and Tribune and on on YouTube

Over half a century of tradition is wrapped up in the green plastic bags at the Masters at Augusta National. While disturbances over pimento cheese suppliers since 2013 have led longtime patrons, and ESPN, to question the current recipe, Lobeck swears he has cracked the code. By using the ingredients label on the back of the package.

Ingredients

1 cup shredded extra sharp cheddar cheese

1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese

8 ounces cream cheese

2/3 cup real mayonnaise

4 ounce can pimentos and juice

2 tablespoons grated onion (or 1 teaspoon onion powder)

1 1/2 teaspoons black pepper

1 1/2 teaspoons granulated garlic

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Kristie’s Southern Style Pimento Cheese

By Kristie Sullivan  (Keto Friendly)

Many Sandhills residents know Sullivan for her pervious work at Sandhills Community College and her pioneering work worldwide with keto. At 3 years of age, Sullivan began struggling with obesity. After a lifetime of diets, health concerns and ailments, she found a solution in strict ketogenic eating and now works to help others overcome similar struggles.

Pimento cheese is great for a busy lifestyle. Sullivan encourages cooks to play around with ingredients and use what is available in the pantry.

Ingredients

1 cup plus 1 tablespoon mayonnaise

2 ounces cream cheese, softened to room temperature (one carb per serving)

16 ounces shredded cheese (one sharp and one mild — Sullivan uses a blend of Cabot sharp and Kerry Gold)

2 to 3 tablespoons diced pimentos

1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon cayenne powder, or more to taste

4 to 5 tablespoons bacon pieces

Mix mayonnaise and cream cheese until well blended. Add mayo mixture to the shredded cheese and mix well. Add pimentos, Worcestershire, garlic powder, cayenne and bacon, and blend well. Refrigerate for an hour or more before eating. Enjoy with a spoon, on celery, or pepperoni chips. This is delicious baked, hot and gooey, and on burgers.

To ensure keto eaters are keeping with keto guidelines, Sullivan recommends the following:

Use Primal Kitchen’s Avocado mayonnaise or Duke’s mayonnaise — Duke’s contains no sugar.

Grate your own cheese. The texture is better when grated at home and is without the starches that coat pre-blended cheeses.

Get creative on your favorite cheeses, one sharp and one mild.

Bacon is a key ingredient in keto cooking. In pimento cheese, it provides protein and salt for flavor.  PS

Gayvin Powers is the author of The Adventure of Iona Fay series and a writing coach at Soul Sisters Write. She can be reached at hello@gayvinpowers.com.