HOMETOWN
Home, Sweet (Not) Home
But it’ll do after a long day
By Bill Fields
Near the end of a recent stretch of hectic business travel that included four canceled flights in a week, I arrived in Houston late on a Wednesday evening. After having to employ debating-level skills to convince a skeptical rental car agent that “Bill” was in fact a common nickname for “William,” I secured a vehicle and drove to my hotel, arriving past midnight.
Entering my room, I deadbolted the door and took a deep breath.
In the calm of my temporary quarters on the 12th floor 1,600 miles from home, the frustrations of the not-so-friendly skies eased. The spacious room was quiet and cool, with crisp, fresh sheets on a king bed. The flat screen television was large, the desk ample. Unpacking enough to settle in for the night, it struck me that as wearying as life can become when the travel gods are angry, a room on the road is one of my happy places.
Certainly, I don’t qualify as an ultimate road warrior, the kind of person who leaves on Monday and returns on Friday, week after week for most of the calendar. There were years, though, when I was away covering golf upwards of 25 weeks. My travel has been about half that annually in the last decade but with periods of concentrated trips. During those busy times, a comfortable room is a sanctuary for sleep, work or watching a favorite movie that just happens to be on TV.
I’ve had a fascination with motels and hotels since early childhood when my visiting grown-up cousins lodged at the Charlton Motel on U.S. 1, long since replaced by a convenience store. Whether jumping on the bed or into the pool, which was tucked amid tall pines behind the building, the novelty of the experience made it seem as if I were much farther away from home than a couple of miles.
My family didn’t travel often, but most summers we ventured to the beach. If not accommodated in a cottage, we stayed in one of the oceanfront motels. The Buccaneer on Ocean Drive comes to mind: room key attached to a plastic fob; water glasses wrapped in paper; a window-unit air conditioner to soothe skin after hours on the strand; sand on the carpet; an ice machine nearby.
We ventured to Atlanta once to visit Six Flags Over Georgia and stayed in a suburban Holiday Inn near an Interstate exit. I pored over the room service menu before pestering my parents to let me order a hamburger and a Coke. Getting a delivered meal was almost as cool as riding the log flume at the amusement park.
The thousands of nights on the road since those first trips have been spent in all kinds of places, from a plush Ritz Carlton on the Gulf of Mexico — turndown service! — to a grim budget chain on a trucking route in Kansas, where I was stuck in a “smoking” room so stale it was the only time I expensed Lysol spray. There were mouse sightings too, but I fared better that week than a cadre of tour caddies who booked a motel so sketchy they purchased sleeping bags to put atop the bedding.
On a few of my first trips to the Masters, during the 1980s, I was lodged in a motel distinguished by its unusual color scheme. The “Purple Palace,” as we called it, was $29.99 a night 51 weeks a year, a rate that soared to five times that much the second week of April.
Although a chocolate on your pillow is a nice touch, when you travel a lot the basics are what matters: walls thick enough to neutralize noisy neighbors; a bed that neither swallows you up nor makes it seem as if you’re lying on plywood; a shower with plenty of pressure and hot water whose sliding door doesn’t have a mind of its own.
I can take or leave fluffy towels, but I appreciate a sink at the right height. The only time I hurt myself in a hotel room was in Binghamton, New York. Leaning way over to shave one morning, I tweaked my back and ended up on the floor in pain, causing me to look scruffy and smell of Bengay the rest of my stay.
Mostly, you want your room to be your room. Checking into a Denver hotel one night a couple of years ago, I encountered a clerk with problems greater than nickname awareness. Upon reaching my assigned room, when the key card turned the light green and I pushed the door open, it slammed loudly into the security lock. Hearing someone rustling inside, I didn’t stick around for a conversation.










