Dog Days Ahead

Ruff language from the monthly rescue dog meeting

By Clyde Edgerton

Following is a transcript of a recent rescue dog monthly meeting at a local pound:

Dog 1, the Moderator: Good afternoon. My name is Dusty. I’m a Mix. As you have been informed, we are meeting to go over some of the characteristics of rescue families. As you know, if you are not rescued this month then —

Dog 2: Please don’t go into that.

OK. But please be aware that you may be rescued by a Conservative, a Liberal, a Mix, or a Hermit. You should be able to recognize either, so that you can pick the rescue family that will be a good fit for you. That’s the purpose of our meeting — recognition. Please interrupt at any time with questions, by the way.

Dog 2: What’s a Mix?

Someone who is both a Conservative and a Liberal.

Dog 3: Impossible

Dog 4: No, it’s not.

Dog 2: What’s a Conservative?

Someone who listens to Fox News on their SirrusXM Satellite car radio.

Dog 2: What’s a Liberal?

Someone who listens to CNN or MSNBC on their SirrusXM Satellite car radio.

Dog 2: How are they different?

I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but it may be easier to say how they are alike. Judging from the commercials on those stations, they all likely owe $10,000 in back taxes or they are over $10,000 in credit card debt or they snore a lot, or are dysfunctional in some other way. It’s like they are all criminals. And, as with all humans these days, they are owned by somebody — or something — they may not recognize. And neither group will feed you chicken bones. But, as to their differences, I can tell you that —

Dog 2: What’s a Hermit?

A loner.

Dog 3: Why would a Hermit want a dog?

Don’t know. They probably wouldn’t. Right. So scratch that category.

Dog 4: Just wondering — can a woman be a Hermit?

Of course. Why would you think otherwise?

Dog 5: What’s a woman?

Come on, y’all — you were supposed to do your homework.  A woman is person who will most likely be feeding you once you rescue a family. Now,
please hold off on the questions and let me just clarify a few things.

Dog 4: But what’s a man, then?

Dog 5: Do you mean a person who identifies as a man?

Dog 4: You must be a Liberal. Nanny nanny boo boo.

Dog 5: You must be a Conservative. Nanny nanny boo boo.

Hold on, hold on. Please don’t jump to conclusions. You are dogs, remember. You serve Conservatives, Liberals and Mixes. We rescue so that we can provide entertainment and company to rescue families, regardless of their political outlook. We must all —

Dog 6: I’ve been around the block a few times. Peed on a lot of fire hydrants. And I can tell you this: You want to rescue people who are kind to dogs. I rescued a Conservative family twice and a Liberal family twice. I learned that kindness is unpredictable. What you need is somebody who will squat down, look you in the eye, and talk to you. Gently. Who will give you food, shelter, and love. And if you are a Mix, like all of us here, then you —

Dog 7: I’m a pure breed. Dalmatian, as a matter of fact.

Dogs 2 – 23: Oh my goodness.

What the hell are you doing here?

My Lord.

For Heaven’s sake!

Overbred. Overbred. Overbred.

Nanny nanny boo boo.

Liar.

Dummy.

Softy.

Calm down. Listen up. Let’s not jump to conclusions. I believe there may be more than one pure breed among us. Or that could be what we call a “social construct.” Please understand that we are all in this together. More than likely each of you will find a family match — even pure-breed-Dalmatian-Dog 7. I understand Dalmatians are high-strung and perhaps you, Dog 7, will find a comfortable match . . . say, a vegetarian family. And listen, everybody, if a family doesn’t work out, simply bring them back and we will send them over for feline therapy. Believe me, they will come crawling back.  PS

Clyde Edgerton is the author of 10 novels, a memoir and most recently, Papadaddy’s Book for New Fathers. He is the Thomas S. Kenan III Distinguished Professor of Creative Writing at UNCW.

June Books

The kickoff to summer reading

By Romey Petite

The Marsh King’s Daughter, by Karen Dionne

Born to an abducted teenage girl and raised in the confines of a remote, tiny cabin, the last thing Helena ever wants to do is go back to the marshlands of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula — the world she and her mother ran away from 13 years ago. Helena has built a life for herself with a good job, two sons and a loving husband, far away from the media sensation her life turned into following their narrow escape. When her father, Jacob Holbrook, vanishes from custody, murdering two prison guards in the process, a hapless manhunt begins. Having spent her earliest years being trained by Holbrook, Helena’s survivalist instincts kick in — knowing she is the only one with the skill and know-how to find the Marsh King. With allusions to both fairy tales and mythology, praise from Lee Child and Megan Abbott, and told in delicious, hackle-raising prose, Dionne’s The Marsh King’s Daughter is certain to be this summer’s sleeper hit.

Magpie Murders, by Anthony Horowitz

The author of the best-sellers Moriarty, Trigger Mortis, The House of Silk, the young adult Alex Rider series, and one of the creators of the British detective drama Midsomer Murders has crafted a tale in homage to the whodunit masterpieces of Agatha Christie. When editor Susan Ryeland receives the manuscript for novelist Alan Conway’s latest Atticus Pund mystery, she is initially delighted to be holed up all alone in her London, Crouch End flat without her paramour, Andreas, to disturb her. As Susan begins to read between the lines, however, she discovers there might be more to this page-turner than what appears on the page. Spellbound by a mystery only she has the clues to solve, Susan follows a trail left by the author that has her retracing the fictional detective’s steps. Readers will be similarly enthralled.

Flesh and Bone and Water, by Luiza Sauma

When a letter arrives in London for Andre Cabral supposedly all the way from an old flame back in his childhood home in Rio de Janeiro, the middle-aged father and surgeon finds himself drifting into a reverie. Separated from his British wife, Esther, Andre begins to fantasize about searching for the love letter’s sender — Luana, daughter of his family’s housemaid. One problem: He does not remember her surname. Bit by bit, Andre attempts to recall the events spinning out of his mother’s death, prompting him to set out on a journey from London to Rio to the Amazon. Flesh and Bone and Water is Pat Kavanagh Award Winner Luiza Sauma’s dreamlike debut, containing meditations on issues regarding race, social mobility, sex, and the selective nature of memory.

More of Me, by Kathryn Evans

In this electrifying debut novel, possessing the DNA of both Ray Bradbury’s short story “Fever Dream” and Katherine Dunn’s Geek Love, Teva has a convincingly ordinary life where her teachers, Ollie (her boyfriend) and her best friend, Maddy, are concerned. Unbeknown to the world beyond her cloistered home, however, Webb involuntarily clones herself once a year. The 16th Teva in line, she’s forced to balance the usual teenage frets about exams and life with the memories of 15 other Tevas. Fortunately, the others are kept locked away to avoid confusion, but that’s the least of 16’s worries. Realizing there is only a short while before she, in turn, will be replaced by yet another clone, and contending with the 15-year-old version of herself over their mutual affection for Ollie, Teva has decided she won’t surrender her life or love without a fight.

Marriage of a Thousand Lies, by SJ Sindu

Lakshmi, dubbed Lucky, is a programmer and a freelance fantasy illustrator — often acting as the digital artist equivalent of a boudoir photographer. Her husband, Krishna, works as second pass editor for a greeting card company. When the two really want to have fun, they briefly abscond from their traditional gender roles where each acts as the other’s beard — leaving their wedding rings at their Bridgeport, Connecticut, apartment — to frequent the local gay bars. When Lucky’s grandmother in Boston suffers a fall, she finds herself once again staying with her conservative Sri-Lankan American family. It is here that Lucky reconnects with her girlhood crush, Nisha, and discovers she, too, is bound for an arranged marriage to a man she hardly knows. Star-crossed, these two lovers must choose either to defy conventions and face shame, embarrassment and denial from their community, or uphold tradition and accept the lies their families hold dear.

The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O., by Neal Stephenson and Nicole Galland

Taking a whimsical approach to history, science, fantasy, epistolary documents and mystery, best-selling author Neal Stephenson and critically acclaimed historical novelist Nicole Galland recruit readers for a chimerical speculative thriller. Melisandre “Mel” Stokes, a linguistics expert, is approached by Tristan Lyons, a representative of the shadowy military intelligence division D.O.D.O. — the Department of Diachronic Operations. Initially, she is offered a large sum of money to act as a translator for some very ancient classified documents, but Mel’s life changes forever when her new job takes her on an expedition back through time to the waning days of the Victorian era. Fans of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series and Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omens will appreciate how The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O. challenges our fundamental assumptions of the post-enlightenment world while being a whirlwind of good fun.

The Shark Club, by Ann Kidd Taylor

On July 30, 1988, a young Maeve Donnelly and her “crush” Daniel are wandering the Gulf of Mexico’s shores just outside of her grandmother Perri’s watch. After the two share a brief kiss, Maeve is seized by her leg and yanked beneath the waves by a prowling blacktip shark. Surviving the attack with only a flesh wound, Maeve is encouraged instead of deterred by her experience and 18 years later has become a marine biologist of semi-renown. Considered by her colleague Nicholas to be a “shark whisperer,” she displays a natural rapport with the creatures. The Shark Club, the first solo novel of the co-author of the best-selling Traveling with Pomegranates, is the story of Maeve’s return to the magical beach where her story first began, her grandmother’s magical Hotel of the Muses — where there is a room dedicated to each of the matriarch’s favorite authors — and perhaps a chance to reconcile with her childhood sweetheart, who promised his heart to her that fateful day in ’88.

Our Little Racket, by Angelica Baker

When the financial crisis of 2008 sees the collapse of investment bank Weiss & Partners, it is immediately followed by a public outcry and the demand that CEO Bob D’Amico be brought to justice. The weight and responsibility of picking up the pieces of the fragmented firm fall on the shoulders of five women in Greenwich, Connecticut: Madison, D’Amico’s teenage daughter; Isabel, D’Amico’s wife; Amanda, Madison’s best friend; Lily, the D’Amico family’s nanny; and Mina, a family friend. As each finds herself in a position of relative complicity in the ongoing scandal, loyalties are tested. Told in a tone both tender and droll, the prose of Baker’s first novel is reminiscent in scale and ambition to Edith Wharton’s abashed insider view into bourgeois family life.

CHILDREN’S BOOKS
By Angie Talley

Go to Sleep in Your Own Bed, by Candace Fleming

It is bedtime on the farm, but when pig toddles off to snuggle down for the night, he finds someone sleeping there already. What ensues will have pajama-clad young readers giggling themselves to sleep
. . . right after they ask to hear the story one more time. Ages 2-4.

The Book of Mistakes, by Corinna Luyken

Oops! Whoops! Oh no! Mistakes can be creativity ending showstoppers or, better yet, opportunities. In this beautiful new ode to U-turns, debut author/
illustrator Corinna Luyken celebrates mistakes and the wonderful roads they can lead down. Ages 3-adult.

Orphan Island, by Laurel Snyder

Nine on an island, orphans all/Any more, the sky might fall. So goes the rhyme and so goes life on Orphan Island, a place where it only rains at night, where snakes are docile, waters calm, food plentiful, and rules must always be followed. But when Jinny, the Elder, breaks a cardinal rule, the serenity of the island is threatened. Reminiscent of a grown-up version of The Boxcar Children, this captivating read is a mysterious journey and a fascinating exploration of what it really means to grow up — a literary novel sure to get a nod toward next year’s Newbery Medal. Ages 11-14.

When Dimple Met Rishi, by Sandhya Menon

Meet Dimple, crazy for coding and psyched to be attending Insomnia Con summer camp, where she can develop an idea she has for an amazing new app. Meet Rishi, crazy for Dimple, and a closet comic-illustrating prodigy who’s attending Insomnia Con to, well, to be with Dimple. This laugh-out-loud coming of age sweet love story between two talented high school graduates brilliantly explores new love, the experience of being young Indian-Americans, and the difficult decisions they must make when they focus on careers, but find themselves smitten. This is the perfect summer-before-college read. Ages 14 and up.  PS

Double Vision

There’s never a dull moment when Gemini is in the house

By Astrid Stellanova

Donald Trump, Kanye West, Marilyn Monroe, John F. Kennedy, Prince, Joan Rivers, Johnny Depp, Anderson Cooper, Morgan Freeman, Nicole Kidman. What do these famous names have in common besides fame? First and foremost, their sun sign, Gemini. Star children, just try and imagine these Geminis in the same room. If the universe doesn’t have a sense of humor, then pray tell, what is at work here?—Ad Astra, Astrid

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Warm to your gal pals, challenging to your male pals, heck — challenging period. That is what everyone knows runs deep inside your Gemini spirit. You have backbone, which is true. That back can get up, too, when someone gives you grief. You are many things, but never dull. This birthday may wind up being one of your favorites, because you have command of a stage and a chance to vent your anger. You’ve been as hopped up as a mule chewin’ on bumblebees over a friend’s actions. They want to make up. Let them. Show them your generosity can be as deep as your considerable wounded pride.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

You uncovered something you didn’t much like. Things went catawampus when someone you trusted was caught lyin’ like a no-legged dog! It will make you more cautious, which is a good thing. Now, watch how they prove themselves in the future. Translation: Time for them to actually prove themselves to you, and for you to insist upon it.

Leo (July 23–August 22)

You face a challenge and tend to rely upon an old ally. The problem is, your ally is so dumb, they could throw themselves on the ground and miss it. They just don’t understand the consequences of their lack of judgment. You, Child, do. Give them your guidance, and if they fail, show them how to hit the ground and roll.

Virgo (August 23–September 22)

Well, Sugar, you sure put the right person in charge of handling the money. He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams. Thanks to reforming your once thoughtless money sense, you can afford a splurge. Take the opportunity to let loose and be generous with yourself. Also, let loose in another way that’s completely free — smile!

Libra (September 23–October 22)

Someone in authority is making you half-crazy. Time is here, Sweet Thing, for you to draw a hard red line with this person and stop the crazy-making. Don’t let them pee on your leg and tell you it’s raining! By the end of June, you will discover something you dug up. This hard digging may lead you to a much bigger discovery.

Scorpio (October 23–November 21)

Needlepoint this onto a pillow: “Excuses are like behinds. Everybody’s got one and they all stink.” There was a time when you didn’t take time to offer up excuses. That is your truer self. When you own up to your role in a stinky situation, you can turn it around and find release. Truth works better than Odor-Eaters.

Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

You weren’t wrong. We just misunderstood what you figured out way ahead of the rest of us. Well, slap my head and call me silly! Now that you have all the information, calculate what it will take to buy yourself a pack of nabs and an orange soda, then call your broker. Your hunches are right on the money.

Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

Darling, there’s a Southern riddle that goes like this: Is a pig’s rump made of pork? Well, Honey Bunny, that’s rhetorical. There is no answer, because the answer is obvious. Now something just as obvious is staring you right in the face. Turn this moment into what you need to march forward and onward and make barbecue.

Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

She’s so pretty she could make a hound dog smile. He’s so pretty he could make it smile again. That’s said of you and your circle of good-lookin’ Aquarian friends. You’ve taken your kindnesses into your personality in such a big way that you wear it on your fine faces. You make every one of your circle glad to be in your orbit.

Pisces (February 19–March 20)

There’s a very sweet someone who wants to hitch a ride on your happy train because he senses you have a good sense of direction. If leather were brains, he wouldn’t have enough to saddle a June bug. All that said, you may feel a sense of loyalty to him just because he is polite and says “please” and “thank you.”

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Lately, you have pretty much said “yes” to everything. Sugar Pie, if promises were persimmons, the possums could eat good at your place. This is a reality check for you. If you don’t face up to the music, you could wind up in the orchestra with a baton in your hand and no musicians. Stop all the mania and drop the baton long enough to direct your own life.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Deep in the South, where sushi is still called bait, you have been doing some things nobody around you quite understands. You have been going a little overboard with your need to make a big impression. Like, for example, buying a mystery box at the auction when the rent was due. Take the auction paddle out of the air. PS

For years, Astrid Stellanova owned and operated Curl Up and Dye Beauty Salon in the boondocks of North Carolina until arthritic fingers and her popular astrological readings provoked a new career path.

The Daiquiri

And the way to perfect it with myriad rums

By Tony Cross

The next time you’re in an establishment and you’re uncertain if the drinks on their cocktail list are any good or not, order a daiquiri. If you’re envisioning a syrupy, strawberry-colored frozen drink that comes in a 16-ounce piña colada glass, keep reading. To make a classic daiquiri, all you need is rum, lime juice and sugar. But like many other pre-Prohibition cocktails, the daiquiri was ruined in the ’70s with artificial everything. When made correctly, this cocktail is the epitome of balance: not too boozy, not too tart, and not too sweet. Chances are, if the bartender can make a good daiquiri, the other cocktails on the list will also be balanced. I’ve had guests request a daiquiri for this very reason, and it resulted in their group ordering a few other cocktails throughout the evening.

I tried this gambit out a few years back on a hot summer afternoon. The bartender took my order, only to return a few minutes later to ask if I “wanted that blended.” I opted for the sauvignon blanc instead. Here are a few of my favorite rums that I’ll be making daiquiris with and kicking back during the first month of summer.

Flor de Caña Extra Seco 4 Years

Cocktail historian David Wondrich calls the daiquiri “the first true classic cocktail to be invented outside the United States.” He’s right, and like so many classic cocktails that I’ve researched, many bartenders from the past have taken credit for their creation. Wondrich found the daiquiri referred to as the “Cuban Cocktail” in a cocktail book from Hugo Ensslin called Recipes For Mixed Drinks published in 1916. However, in a later edition of the book, Ensslin corrects himself, giving credit to Jacques Straub for publishing the cocktail in 1914. What we do know is that the original was made with Bacardi rum. Bacardi in the early 1900s was different from the Bacardi we know today. Back then it was rich and “exceptionally smooth.” Today, it’s very light, with not much flavor. Instead, grab a bottle of Flor de Caña Extra Seco 4 Years. Based in Nicaragua, this distillery — meaning “Flower of the Cane” — has been around since 1890. The sugar cane was planted at the foot of a volcano in hopes that the soil would enrich the flavors of the rum, and the humidity would naturally age it once it was in oak barrels. Flor de Caña makes a lot of different aged rums: four year, five year, seven year, 12 year, 18 year, and a 25 year. Our local ABC isn’t carrying it at the moment, but if you ask, they will order it for you. This is the best go-to rum for making a classic daiquiri without hurting your pocket: less than $20 a bottle.

Classic Daiquiri

2 ounces Flor de Caña Extra Seco 4 Years

3/4 ounce fresh lime juice

1/2 ounce simple syrup (2:1)

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice, and shake vigorously until the shaker is very cold. Strain into a chilled cocktail coupe glass. No garnish.

Fair Game Beverage Company’s Amber Rum

A few years back, Fair Game distiller Chris Jude released a sorghum rum titled “No’Lasses.” It was delicious and different: great rum characteristics, but with a whiskey backbone. Last year, he released his Amber Rum. He sources his panela sugar from Colombia. Panela sugar is made from evaporated cane juice; it’s a raw sugar with rich flavors. This sugar gives the rum a sweet, floral and grassy profile. Like the No’Lasses, it’s also aged in bourbon barrels after distillation in Jude’s alembic pot still. The sugar ferments very slowly with Caribbean rum yeast before being added to the still. If you’re looking for a daiquiri with more body and flavor, use this rum. You can use it with the same specs from the daiquiri recipe above or when making a Hemmingway,  named for the author, of course. Legend has it, at the El Floridita bar in Havana, Hemmingway set a house record for drinking 16 doubles (sans the sugar — that alone would’ve probably killed him).

Hemmingway Daiquiri

2 ounces Fair Game Amber Rum

3/4 ounce fresh lime juice

1/2 ounce fresh grapefruit juice

Bar spoon maraschino liqueur

Bar spoon simple syrup (2:1)

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice, and shake vigorously until the shaker is very cold. Strain into a chilled cocktail coupe glass. No garnish.

Smith & Cross Traditional Jamaican Rum

My favorite rum. Ever. There are so many great things to say about this funky rum. Funky as in all kinds of flavor — on the nose it smells like a Werther’s caramel drop and on the palate there are ripe bananas, nuttiness and spice, undertones of grass, oak and honey. Coming in at a whopping 57 percent ABV, this is my definition of pirate rum. Titled “Navy Strength,” it must be at least 100 proof, which was the traditional strength requirement of the British Navy.

Smith & Cross is one of the oldest producers of spirits and sugar in England. Dating back to 1788, the sugar refinery was located on the London docks. As time passed, the refineries turned into rum cellars. Haus Alpenz, the distributor of Smith & Cross, says, “At this proof a spill of the spirits would not prevent gunpowder from igniting. As important, this degree of concentration provided an efficiency in conveyance on board and onward to trading partners far away.” This rum is bottled in London, and made with a combo of the Wedderburn and Plummer styles of rum producing. The Wedderburn style is aged for less than a year, and the Plummer is aged one to three years in white oak. Molasses, skimmings (the debris that collects of the top of the boiling fluids, skimmed off during molasses and sugar production), cane juice, the syrup bottoms from sugar production, and the dunder (the liquid left in the boiler after distilling rum) make this rum my favorite; it’s not just because we share the same name.

Here’s my recipe for a daiquri. This has got
to be one of my favorite cocktails to drink. The half ounce of Smith & Cross does wonders for this quick sipper.

Cross Daiquiri

1 1/2 ounces Flor de Caña Extra Seco

1/2 ounce Smith & Cross Jamaican Rum

3/4 ounce fresh lime juice

1/2 ounce simple syrup (2:1)

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice from distilled water, and shake vigorously until the shaker is very cold. Strain into a chilled cocktail coupe glass. No garnish.  PS

Tony Cross is a bartender who runs cocktail catering company Reverie Cocktails in Southern Pines.

Guest Lecturer

Bringing the outdoors in

By Tom Bryant

Traffic was backed up for miles on the inner beltline of Raleigh, so I decided to take country roads home to Southern Pines. Big cities seem to be getting bigger every time I have to visit one, and today was no different. On this trip to the metro, I had met a couple of friends I worked with in the newspaper business. It was a great reunion. We sympathized with each other on our personal aging problems as well as the problems the newspaper industry is experiencing. After a couple of cups of coffee and an hour or two of catching up, we hit the road to get back to our respective home bases.    

I angled my route over the backroads toward Cary and then decided to cut across country to Lake Jordan for a quick look-see. But first, since it had been a long time since my bowl of breakfast cereal, I pulled into a handy McDonald’s right outside the city limits for an early lunch. I was in luck because just as I entered the restaurant, a church bus pulled up and unloaded a bunch of youngsters. They appeared to be in their early teens, so I grabbed a table in the back corner to be out of the way. I had the morning issue of the News & Observer, so
I kicked back with my biscuit to catch up on the Raleigh news.        

As expected, the young folks came in with all the enthusiasm only they can have, especially when they’re hungry. I couldn’t help but overhear that they were on a field trip to the Capitol to see and be seen with the legislators. At a glance, it seemed as if each one had a smartphone and was constantly checking for important information or messages.

The technology that has changed the way newspapers do business was in evidence right there in McDonald’s. There I was, an older guy, not quite a geezer but on the way, reading a hard copy of a newspaper; and there they were, a bunch of young folks engrossed in their smartphones. It was a living testament to how times have changed.

These young folks reminded me of the time I was invited to speak to an eighth-grade class about the beauty of nature. It was a project dreamed up by the school to emphasize the importance of the outdoors. Even back then, school administrators understood that kids were spending too much time inside, watching TV and playing video games. That early encounter with those eighth-graders was the first inkling I had that the new generation was growing up differently from anything I had known.

A few more hungry customers came in the door, and the young folks moved as a group to the center of the restaurant. I was surprised at how subdued they were, and all but two, that I saw, were engrossed in their phones. The two kids who weren’t, a boy and a cute petite girl, carried on a conversation, laughing and smiling all the while. The contrast between the couple and the rest of the group was very evident. There are a few hanging on, I thought. The couple with no phones in sight would have fit right in with the eighth-grade class I visited many years ago.         

There were 30 or more students in that classroom, and it was just before lunch, so my time was limited. The young teacher introduced me and returned to her desk. I looked out at all those youngsters who had so much living yet to do and wondered how many had spent any time at all in the outdoors. So I asked, “Raise your hand if you’re in the Boy Scouts.”

About five boys tentatively put up their hands.

“OK,” I said, “how many of you young ladies are in the Girl Scouts?”

No hands went up.     

I decided to use a different tact. “How many of you have ever been fishing, hunting, camping or hiking, anything at all to do with the outdoors?” I was amazed at how few raised their hands.

“Well, I guess I have my work cut out for me. I’m supposed to get y’all interested enough in the birds and bees for you to spend more time away from the TV.”

The birds and bees comment brought on a little snickering in the back rows.

“Not that kind of birds and bees,” I laughed. I had gotten their attention.  A boy sitting close to the front raised his hand. “Mr. Bryant, one time when I was a lot younger, my granddad took me duck hunting.”

I looked at him with a glimmer of hope, thinking that here was a boy I could relate to.

He continued, “I not only about froze to death, but I was bored stiff. We didn’t see a duck all day.”

The class erupted with laughter. The teacher looked over at me with raised eyebrows.

I’m losing these people. What’s the best way to respond to this little whippersnapper? I thought about bringing the beauty of sunsets and sunrises into the conversation. I had even emphasized that in my notes, but that wouldn’t work; these kids have seen too many nature documentaries on TV.

OK, I figured I had one last chance before the teacher took her class back and dismissed me.

I walked around to the front of the lectern. “All right, folks,” I said. “I’ve left my speech back there. Just give me a little attention, and I’ll let you get out of here early for lunch.” That perked them up. I looked at the young fellow who gave me the duck hunting story. “I’m going to tell you about one of my duck hunts.

“It was Thanksgiving weekend, really just a couple of years ago. I was out early Friday morning at my special duck hunting spot not too far from home. It’s a beautiful undisturbed area with all kinds of wildlife and one of my favorite locations. Unfortunately, we’re losing these places all too quickly to development. So-called progress, I reckon. I have a small duck boat I use for hunting, one that will nestle right close to the creek bank; and on this morning, I was hunting alone because my old hunting dog, Paddle, had died the year before. She was a yellow Lab and a great retriever. We hunted together for 14 years and I still miss her.”

The class was paying more attention and I continued. “On this morning I didn’t really expect to have a lot of luck because of the mild weather, but I just wanted to be in the woods. I pulled the boat under alders growing from the bank and watched as the sun came up over the lake. Canada geese had roosted out in the big water the night before and were calling in preparation to head to the fields to feed. Mixed in with their calling, I could hear an unusual whistling noise coming from up the creek. A black bear had recently been sighted in the area, and not knowing what the whistling was, I hunkered down in the boat.”

I had the class now. They were all paying attention, and I finished the impromptu lecture and watched as the students were dismissed and filed out of the room heading to lunch. Several of them thanked me for the story.

The teacher gave me kudos for my talk. I don’t know if they were deserved or not, but I told her I had enjoyed the experience.

As I packed up to leave, the young guy who had duck hunted with his granddad stood by the classroom door, and as I walked out into the hall, he said, “Thanks, Mr. Bryant. I’m going to see if my grandfather will take me duck hunting again.” 

That youngster made my day.  PS

Tom Bryant, a Southern Pines resident, is a lifelong outdoorsman and PineStraw’s Sporting Life columnist.

Cereal for Breakfast?

Umm . . .maybe not

By Karen Frye

One of the biggest game-changers in the food industry was when processed food became more desirable than fresh food. For some people, the convenience of breakfast cereals became a priority. I clearly remember Saturday grocery shopping with my mother, staring at all the beautiful cereal boxes, and making my choice. I typically went for the Rice Krispies, a pretty boring selection with all the cereals on the market these days.

If I had only known back then, or even cared, I would have stayed far away from the cereal aisle. Cereal is what I call “dead food.”

Most breakfast cereals are heavily marketed as being healthy — low fat, whole grain, high fiber, all natural. When you look at the ingredients, the first few on the list are refined grains and sugar. These are highly processed foods that are loaded with added sugar. The cereal manufacturers are experts at marketing, especially toward children, using bright colors and popular figures to attract attention. Cereal costs a few cents to make, and usually sells for $4-5 a box. Huge profits for a multi-billion-dollar industry.

The way that cereals are manufactured, a process called extrusion, is probably not what you would ever imagine. The grains are mixed with water, processed into a slurry, and placed in a machine called an extruder. This process denatures and alters the structure of an otherwise healthy grain. The grains are then forced out through a tiny hole at a high temperature and pressure, which shapes them into little o’s or shreds or flakes, also destroying much of the nutrients. Next, the cereal is sprayed with a coating of oil and sugar as a sealant to give it a crunch. Unfortunately, even the cereals sold in natural food stores are made using this same method.

I do agree that breakfast is an important meal, but you should be mindful of what you choose. Children are the largest consumers of breakfast cereal. It would be wise to serve your family something healthier for the first meal of the day. There are options that could become as easy as pouring milk over extruded grains. Hot cereals like oatmeal are a good option, and can be prepared the night before to eat in the morning. Eggs provide much needed protein in the morning. I like to make deviled or boiled eggs, and they are ready to grab on the go.

Retire your cereal bowl forever, or maybe start filling it with fresh seasonal fruit.  PS

Karen Frye is the owner and founder of Natures Own and teaches yoga at the Bikram Yoga Studio.

Trespassing on Fertile Ground

Writing a book requires a curious spirit, a rental car and potential bail money

By Wiley Cash

On two separate occasions, my career as a novelist has nearly resulted in my being charged with breaking and entering. The first instance occurred at my elementary school. When I was 35 years old.

In June 2013, I was invited back to my high school in Gastonia, North Carolina, to receive an alumni award that was to be given during the school’s graduation ceremony. After flying down on Friday and settling in at the hotel, I woke up early on Saturday morning with a little time to kill, and I thought I’d drive my rental car over to Robinson Elementary, where I had gone to school as a child. The baseball field behind the school serves as the model for the ball field in the opening scene of This Dark Road to Mercy, a novel whose final edits I was then in the middle of completing. I wanted to see the ball field again and make certain that I had gotten it “right” on the page. I wanted to know that my memory had done it justice.

I followed the sidewalk to the back of the building, where a playground sat, the old baseball field resting at the bottom of the hill. I stood there, picturing my characters, two young sisters, playing on the ball field. Once I was certain that I had imprinted the scene upon my mind, I made my way back to the front of the school. That is when I passed the gymnasium. At that moment, the exact smell of the gymnasium came back to me, a scent I had not smelled in almost 25 years: fresh carpet, new paint, well-used basketballs, and something else that I wasn’t able to place. I couldn’t resist my curiosity in wondering whether or not the gym still smelled the same. I checked the door. It was unlocked. I opened it and stepped inside.

I have two bits of news to report: First, the gymnasium at Robinson Elementary has smelled the exact same for almost 25 years. Second, Robinson Elementary’s security alarm is really loud.

I slammed the door and stood there for a moment, and I’m not going to lie: I considered fleeing. Before I continue, let me tell you a little about my rental car. It was a souped-up, turquoise Camaro. The guy at the rental place had been excited when he told me about the car, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it wasn’t quite my style. Now, I pictured myself in my suit and tie, burning rubber in a turquoise Camaro as I peeled out of my old elementary school’s parking lot. I did the only thing I could think to do: I pulled out my cellphone and called 911 on myself. The conversation went something like this: No, I don’t work for Robinson Elementary. No, I don’t have a child who goes here. No, I’m from out of town. But I’m a writer, and I wrote about Robinson in a novel that will be out next year. I have to let you go. The police are here.

A similar line of questioning occurred during my parking lot police interrogation. As soon as I was released my wife called. “Is that a siren?” she asked. I gave the only answer I could give. “I set off the alarm at my elementary school.” Apparently, my wife is used to this type of behavior because all she said was, “I’ll talk to you later.”

The second time my career as a novelist nearly resulted in a rap sheet for breaking and entering occurred last spring, just west of Gastonia in the small town of Bessemer City, where much of my forthcoming novel The Last Ballad is set. The novel, which is based on true events, tells the story of a young woman who is swept up in a violent mill strike during the summer of 1929. Her name was Ella May Wiggins, and she worked at a mill in Bessemer City called American Mill No. 2. After a little research, I was able to locate the crumbling mill: It had been sold several times over the intervening decades, and, from where I sat parked along the road in front of the old mill, it appeared abandoned.

I got out of the car, a Subaru Forester — more inconspicuous and better suited for exploration than the Camaro — and approached the gate, assuming it would be locked, but there was no lock, and when I tried to open the gate it opened easily. I climbed back into my car, drove through the open gate, and parked in front of the mill.

For the next half hour I took pictures outside the mill, wondering where Ella had entered it, wondering how I would capture it on the page. It was painted a fading white, but I knew from old photographs that the red brick beneath had once been exposed. I also knew that Ella had worked as a spinner, but from outside the mill, I couldn’t imagine where the spinning room would have been located. I considered trying the doors to see if any of them were unlocked. I even considered climbing up the ramp and trying to gain entry to the doors in the loading area. But the place was so quiet and felt so undisturbed that something gave me pause. The mill felt haunted, whether by Ella’s presence or my own imagining, I could not tell. I decided to snap one more photo of the mill before getting back into my car and heading for Asheville, where I was scheduled to give a reading that evening.

And that’s when I saw him: a scarecrow of a man standing on the loading dock about 100 yards from me. I lowered my camera, feeling as if I’d just been caught stealing secrets. The man wore blue jeans and a button-down shirt, a baseball hat pulled low over his eyes. His face was obscured by shadow, but he appeared to have a mustache and to be wearing thick glasses. I lowered my camera, and I stared at him. He stared back at me.

My car was parked between us, and I considered sprinting to it and getting behind the wheel and stepping on the gas for Asheville. But instead I approached the man where he stood. I didn’t say a word until I was within 10 feet or so of where he loomed above me from his perch on the loading dock.

“Hello,” I said. “My name’s Wiley Cash, and I’m a writer, and I’m writing about a woman who worked at this mill in 1929. I was just taking a few pictures for research.”

Silence.

“Her name was Ella May Wiggins,” I said. “She was shot and killed during the Loray Mill strike.”

More silence.

“Have you ever heard of her?”

He raised his eyes, looked out toward the road where the gate remained open from my illegal entry. He stared at my Subaru, and I suddenly wished I’d been driving the Camaro. Finally, he looked at me. I wondered if he would go inside and call the police, or if he’d disappear and return with some kind of weapon and take the law into his own hands.

“Well,” he said, “I reckon you’d better come inside and have a look around.”

His name was Walter, and he was 67 years old. He’d grown up in Gastonia not too far from the place where I’d grown up, and he’d been working at the mill — under one owner or another — since the late 1970s.

“There were almost 200 employees back then,” he said. “Today, we’ve got two on the floor.”

Inside, two middle-aged women were busy packaging cloth rope and preparing it to be shipped. Neither of them looked up when Walter and I passed.

The mill appeared even older once I was inside it. It was dark and musty, the hardwood floor worn smooth from decades of foot traffic and pocked from years of heavy machinery being moved across it, the ceiling low and riddled with what appeared to be hand-hewn beams and crossbeams where single bulbs cast soft yellow light defined by deep shadows.

“This is probably exactly what this place looked like when she worked here back in ’29,” Walter said. He stopped, looked at me. “What did she do?”

“She was a spinner,” I said.

“Come on,” he said.

I followed him up a rickety staircase to the second story. It ran almost the length of the mill, but it was virtually empty. The roof pitched above us at a sharp angle. Sunlight streamed through dirty glass windows and chinks in the walls. Gaps in the flooring made it so I could see through to the story below.

“This is where the spinners would’ve worked,” he said. “The machines would’ve been up here.”

“Would it have been loud?” I asked.

“Deafening.”

“And hot?”

“You can’t imagine,” he said.

“She worked 70 hours a week for $9,” I said. “And she had five children. Four had already passed away. She joined the strike because she thought the rest of them might die if something didn’t change.”

He drew his lips into a straight line, shook his head in what seemed like either disbelief or disappointment. I thought of the two silent women at work downstairs, and I wondered if Walter saw anything of Ella’s story in theirs.

When I left, I told Walter that I’d make sure he got a copy of my novel when it came out. I told him I’d drop by the mill and see him. He smiled.

“If we’re still here,” he said. “If so, I hope you’ll stop by.”

I’ve learned that sometimes, as a writer, you have to get out of the (rental) car and open doors. Other times, it’s best to wait for doors to be opened to you. PS

Wiley Cash lives in Wilmington, North Carolina, with his wife and their two daughters. His forthcoming novel The Last Ballad is available for pre-order wherever books are sold.

Sunday Lessons

In the loving hands of a remarkable grandmother

By Kathleen Causey

The black cat clock sat directly above the living room chair where my grandmother wove the rag rugs she sold all over the country. Its large eyes clicked back and forth in time with the swishing tail, mesmerizing my little sister with its quirkiness. I watched my grandmother’s hands, bent in strange ways from my own, twisting the multi-colored satin blanket binding with amazing speed and spinning tales in a soft voice without dropping a stitch.

Hattie Mae Cochran wasn’t my blood relative. I inherited her at age 7 when my mother married her son. This would be my mother’s third marriage and his as well. The union brought a boatload of half-brothers and stepsisters, and it was never comfortable explaining the relationships of our family. The best part of the deal was inheriting Grandma Cochran. She didn’t have her mother’s Cherokee dark looks, but was fair-haired, light skinned and small in stature, with the patience to explain why her strong-minded son demanded so much from his children.

After church on Sunday our extended family met at Grandma’s house. We would stop and pick up the bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and she would have the veggies ready, covered and sitting in their bowls on the back of the stove. In the summers, we followed her down the garden rows helping to hold the basket as she picked ripened tomatoes and cukes for our lunch. In the winters when it was too chilly to play outside, I would squeeze in at her feet with my siblings and cousins in her tiny living room and hear the stories of her life — how they built their cabin too close to a rattlesnake den in Wilkes County and the snakes would try to crawl up through the cracks in the floor in the winter; how, come spring, they moved the cabin farther up the ridge; how they used newspaper to fill the cracks to stop the freezing wind from blowing through. Her fingers stopped only to hand us a needle to thread as she filled our imaginations.

My stepfather, with his Elvis Presley good looks, ran a strict house, demanding perfection and routine, and never spared the rod. Grandma was my savior. I spent weekends with her, bravely following her down into the cellar with my arms filled with Mason jars as she used a stick to clear the spider webs away from our path. She taught me how to make bread and butter pickles; how to put up beans; how to use my fingers to cut in the butter to make biscuits; how to make a flaky crust for her wonderful lemon meringue pie. Grandma made lacy, intricate doilies; crocheted afghans and quilted like a magician. On special weekends, she allowed me to hunt through her private quilt collection she kept in the closet of the guest room. One hangs on a ladder rung in my dining room. The circles of material were from colorful scraps of dresses and shirts. It took months to finish and she couldn’t bear to sell it, or give it away until it became mine.

I overheard my parents say that the year my Grandma gives up her garden will be her last. When that spring came and she said she wouldn’t be planting, my heart was heavy with the grief of what was to be. I am a grandmother now, and though this woman has long left this world, her voice is with me. She is there with each pie crust I make, with each tomato I pick, with each stitch I sew.  As summer comes and the earth starts to warm, I look at my own hands and how they are changing with time, and I hope one day my granddaughters will sit and ask why my fingers are crooked and bent; and perhaps they will listen patiently as the tail of the clock swishes and the eyes click back and forth.  PS

Kathleen Causey lives and golfs in Seven Lakes, North Carolina, volunteers at the Sandhills Woman’s Exchange, and knows way more about cyber security than your average grandmother.

Marriage in the Age of Social Media

The father of the bride-to-be gets a lesson in millennial weddings

By Tom Allen

June belongs to fathers and brides, except this father will walk his daughter down the aisle in August.

My wife and I knew the FaceTime call was coming. Our daughter Hannah’s boyfriend, Zach, gave us the heads-up. He planned to propose, at a lovely spot overlooking Grandfather Mountain, in Western North Carolina. When the ringtone sounded, everyone smiled through a few tears.

Hannah struck up a conversation with this nice chap her freshman year at N.C. State. They started dating early in her junior year. The “M” word came up, occasionally. He asked our blessing in December, proposed in February. “You can do this,” I told myself, much like I had when I learned I was going to be a father or the day we moved Hannah into her college dorm. “Millions of dads go through this every year,” I reasoned. Treading in the footsteps of Spencer Tracy and Steve Martin, I became, until August 19, the father of the bride.

Friends who’d been through the experience gave the same advice: “Keep quiet and write the checks.” I understand what’s required of the bride’s family — our bank account is leaner than it was three months ago. I’ve given up purchasing that red Toyota Tacoma flatbed truck (with extended cab, back-up camera and heated seats). Still, I shun the stereotype. No, I won’t lose sleep over Hannah’s choice of hors d’oeuvres for the reception. I really don’t have an opinion on the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses (although my mouth dropped when informed there would be 10). But Hannah has a sister in college. Retirement looms. I’m not content to live on beans and bread for the sake of a reception feast that rivals William and Kate’s. Grass-fed prime rib and imported Champagne? Surely Pinterest offers creative ways to serve chicken and green beans. Would Emily Post sneer at a Sara Lee pound cake for dessert?

What to wear? What to wear? The guys (10, of course) are donning black suits and skinny ties, the color of which has yet to be determined. No sweat. I’m sure, after numerous texts, Snapchats and Instagrams, the perfect shade will emerge. And how hipster will I look in a skinny tie, whatever that is? Hannah and my wife, Beverly, scoped out mother-of-the-bride dresses on a recent Saturday. Feeling a bit left out, I stayed home and mowed the lawn. I anticipated pictures. A text requested my opinion. “Lovely . . . for the grandmother of the bride,” I responded. The second ring, a few minutes later brought a similar comeback. “A little low cut, don’tcha think?” After the third ding, everyone agreed. Emojis confirmed the choice. “You look smashing,” I texted my wife. “Love the bling.”

I look forward to the father-daughter dance, at the reception. Though I’m partial to “My Girl,” by The Temptations, Hannah has a Stevie Wonder hit in mind. Either will be fine. We both love to dance, and I’ll love dancing with her. We haven’t decided whether we’ll interrupt for a real throw-down. Bruno Mars and “Uptown Funk”? Hannah and her dad could go viral.

I think I’m ready to walk my daughter down the aisle — a bittersweet moment, same as when she was born, when I waved goodbye on her first day of kindergarten, and when we moved her in to her college dorm. I’ll selfie a pep talk. “You can do this. Millions of dads do every year.”

The ceremony will be intensely personal, given my profession. After another minister asks, “Who brings Hannah to marry Zach?” and I’ll respond, place her hand in his, then I’ll officiate their ceremony. I’m honored she asked, and like walking her down the aisle or waving goodbye as we drove away from the dorm, I’ll get through it, just fine. Besides, my officiant fee is a bargain.

What words will I offer Hannah and Zach? I’ll encourage them to be kind, to dream, to pray. I may tell them to pay off their credit cards every month and change the oil in the cars every 3,000 miles. I might remind them of how fortunate they are to have families who love them, friends who stick by them, and faith to guide them in tough times. We’ll be sad that my parents, who loved and nurtured Hannah and her sister, died before the happy day (my mother appreciated a fine glass of Champagne). I’ll remind Hannah and Zach that marriage is serious business, that living with imperfect people takes work. I’ll bless their union, then introduce a new couple, and a daughter with a new last name.

Beverly and I will smile, with the occasional tear, while the family poses for pictures. Afterwards we’ll celebrate like our wedding is the only one in the world.

On what I suspect will be a hot, humid August night, Beverly and I will say our goodbyes and watch as Hannah and Zach’s happiest day winds down. I’m not sure if they’ll drive away in Zach’s college Kia or a horse-drawn carriage. Do millennials Uber to their wedding night destination? Who knows? I’ll rest well, perhaps dream of that red Toyota Tacoma, and wonder when I’ll get to be the father of the bride again.  PS

Tom Allen is minister of education at First Baptist Church, Southern Pines.

Calls of the Wild

The season of the full-throated eastern phoebe is here

By Susan Campbell

Eastern phoebes are small black-and-white birds that can be easily overlooked — if it weren’t for their loud voices. Repeated “feee-bee, fee-bee” can be heard around wet areas all over our state during the warmer months. The farther west one travels through the Piedmont and into the Foothills, calling males become more and more common. From March through June, they loudly and incessantly declare their territory from elevated perches adjacent to ponds and streams.

Phoebes have an extensive range in the Eastern United States: from the coast to the Rockies and up and across central Canada. In the winter they can be found in southern states from the Carolinas over to Texas down into Mexico and even in northern Central America. They are exclusively insectivorous, feeding on beetles, dragonflies, moths — any bugs that will fit down the hatch. Although they don’t typically take advantage of feeders, I have seen one that did manage to negotiate a suet cage one winter. The birds’ feet are weak, and they are not capable of clinging. So this bird actually had perfected a hovering technique as it fed in spurts.

Originally, Eastern phoebes would use ledges on cliff faces for nesting. We do not know much about their habits in such locations since few are found breeding in such places now. Things have changed a lot for these birds as humans have altered their landscape and offered them an abundance of urban locales in which to nest.

In our area, phoebes can be easy to spot as a result of their loud calls, but their nests may not be. Good-sized open cup structures, the habitats will be tucked in out-of-the-way locations. Typically they will be on a ledge high up on a girder under a bridge or associated with a large culvert. The corner of a porch or another protected flat spot often suits them. Grasses and thin branches are woven and glued together with mud, so the nests are necessarily located near wet areas.

The affinity eastern phoebes have for nesting on man-made structures in our area may indicate that these are safer than more traditional locations. Climbing snakes are not uncommon in the Piedmont and Sandhills. Black rat snakes and corn snakes are not as active in buildings as they are on bridges and other water-control structures. It might be that the birds are adapting their behavior in response to these predators and others that are less likely to dwell so close to human activity.

In recent years it has been fascinating to discover the variety of locations that these little birds choose as support structure for nesting.  Light fixtures and light boxes (such as the one on our hay barn that is this year’s choice for the local pair), gazebos, porch support posts and other domestic structures suit their needs as long as they are covered by at least a slight overhang. Water, of course, is a necessity for phoebes in summer, and they require mature trees for perching and foraging, as well. So keep an ear out and perhaps you will find one of these adaptable birds nearby — ’tis the season! PS

Susan would love to receive your wildlife sightings and photos at susan@ncaves.com.