In the Spirit

Three Top o’ the Mornin’

New additions to the Jameson family

By Tony Cross

When I think of Saint Patrick’s Day, my mind immediately goes to green beer and Jameson. Let’s talk about the latter, and how you can still have a good time without compromising your body’s well-being the morning after.

A little over one year ago, I was asked if my company would like to participate in a Bartender’s Ball in Raleigh. The event was held at a nice craft cocktail bar, Watts & Ward, who would be the host to over 350 bartenders from across the surrounding counties. It was sponsored by Jameson, who used the party as an opportunity to showcase their ever-popular Irish whiskey, as well as three whiskies new to the Jameson family: Jameson Black Barrel, Caskmates IPA Edition, and the Caskmates Stout Edition. There were different stations at different bars that night. Our job was to integrate the Black Barrel Whiskey into one of our mixes. We blew through four kegs (that’s 400 cocktails) of our Black Barrel Strawberry Mules, in just over one hour. It was so much fun for a couple of reasons: 1) the look on everyone’s faces when they took their first sip; and 2) being able to keep a long line moving at a brisk pace showcases our product and means even more when they are all bartenders. Since that night, I’ve been able to team up with Jameson for other projects and balls. In January, we took our kegs to Raleigh Beer Garden and emptied six of them containing our Jameson Grapefruit Mules in two hours. Insane. So, I guess you can say that I’ve had a little experience with the new editions of Jameson. Here’s a rundown on all three (on sale this month at our local ABC), and why enjoying them at home or in your favorite establishment can change up your normal pickleback routine. 

Jameson Black Barrel Whiskey

As they tell it on their website (and rightly so), in big, bold print: “Triple distilled, flame charred, for a rich smooth taste.” It’s no secret in the bourbon whiskey — and now even craft beer — community that re-aging in charred barrels adds much more complexity and depth in the finished product. The same holds true for this Irish whiskey. This is the first of the three on this list that I was able to taste and tinker with over a year ago. I was impressed by how complex it is. Vanilla and a toasted nuttiness stuck out to me; it’s not over the top, but just enough to sit there on your palate, empowering you to want more. That’s right: Good spirit on my tongue makes me feel empowered. To each his/her own. Anywho, enjoy Black Barrel neat, or even with ginger beer. May I suggest our draught ginger beer? I mean, after all, 300 bartenders can’t be wrong . . .

Jameson Caskmates IPA Edition

Jameson took their signature Irish whiskey and added it to an undisclosed “craft” brewery’s IPA barrel. The result is a very clean, drinkable and interesting whiskey. Whatever notes you may pick up on your palate, try again by pairing with a mid-range hoppy IPA. How do the flavors change? You might taste notes of apple, spice and citrus; the hops should shine through a bit after that beer pairing, too. Drink this neat, as an IPA back, or even with sparkling water and grapefruit bitters.

Jameson Caskmates Stout Edition

So, the story is:

Shane Long, owner and brewer from Franciscan Well Brewery, sat down one day for a meeting with Dave Quinn, head of whiskey science, at Jameson. Shane wanted to swap barrels, because he believed that his stout and Jameson Irish whiskey would complement each other greatly. Turns out he was right. The Stout edition is definitely a sipping whiskey. I mean, it’s still Jameson, but it doesn’t make me want to make crazy cocktails with it. It’d work, but with the notes of chocolate and coffee, I just want it neat. Or in an Old-Fashioned. Close enough, right?

What’s great about all three of these additions is that there are no sugary additives, which will hopefully help out with that morning-after hangover.

Caskmates Stout Old-Fashioned

2 ounces Jameson Caskmates Stout

1/4 ounce rich demerara syrup

5 drops Crude Big Bear Coffee and Cocoa Bitters

1 dash Regan’s Orange Bitters

Combine all ingredients in a chilled mixing vessel. Add ice and stir enough to get it chilled and properly diluted. Strain over a rocks glass with large cube. Take an orange peel, expressing the oils over the drink, and rimming the glass before placing it in.   PS

Tony Cross is a bartender who runs cocktail catering company Reverie Cocktails in Southern Pines.

PinePitch

Classical Guitar Performance

Virtuoso French classical guitarist Gabriel Bianco will perform a solo concert presented by the Sandhills Community College Fine Arts Department on Tuesday, March 26. The free concert begins at 7 p.m. at the Dempsey Student Center, Sandhills Community College, 3395 Airport Road, Southern Pines. For information, call (910) 695-3828 or visit booka@sandhills.edu.

Anyone See Woody?

Take a 1.5-mile hike in the longleaf pines on Sunday, March 3, at 3 p.m., looking for the eight species of woodpeckers that call the Sandhills home. Bring binoculars if you have them. Free and open to the public at Weymouth Woods/Sandhills Nature Preserve, 1024 Fort Bragg Road, Southern Pines. For information, call (910) 692-2167 or visit
www.ncparks.gov.

Eyewitness to History

A decorated World War II veteran, Dr. Carver McGriff was 19 years old when he landed on Omaha Beach on the 6th of June, 1944. On Thursday, March 14, he’ll be the guest speaker commemorating the 75th anniversary of the D-Day Invasion in the Given Memorial Library and Tufts Archives Spring Colloquium. Cocktails at 5:30 p.m. and dinner at 6:30 p.m. in the Overlook Room, Pinehurst Country Club, 80 Carolina Vista Drive, Pinehurst. Cost is $100 and proceeds benefit the library and archives. For information and tickets, call (910) 295-3642 or visit www.giventufts.org.

Empty Bowls Fundraiser

Enjoy live music while sampling food from great Sandhills chefs on Sunday, March 3, from noon to 2 p.m. during the Empty Bowls fundraiser benefiting the Sandhills/Moore Coalition for Human Care, at the Country Club of Whispering Pines, 2 Clubhouse Blvd., Whispering Pines. For more information, call (910) 693-1600 or visit
www.sandhillscoalition.org.

A Gentleman in Pinehurst

Enjoy an evening with Amor Towles, author of the New York Times best-selling book A Gentleman in Moscow, the story of Count Alexander Rostov who lives out his days under house arrest in Moscow’s grand Metropol hotel. Presented by The Pilot and The Country Bookshop on Thursday, April 4 from 6 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. at the Pinehurst Resort, tickets include an autographed paperback copy of the book, a cash bar featuring a signature Russian cocktail and an introduction to the author, followed by his remarks and a book signing. Tickets are available at ticketmesandhills.com.

St. Paddy’s Parade

Irish pride will flow through the streets of Pinehurst from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. during the 18th annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade. Enjoy music, dancing, Irish cheer and plenty of children’s activities,
395 Magnolia Road, Pinehurst. The rain date will be Sunday, March 17. For information, visit www.vopnc.org/events.

Dismal Swamp and the Underground Railroad

Eric Sheppard is the featured speaker for The Great Dismal Swamp, Part III: Arts & Humanities Lecture Series on Sunday, March 17, at the Weymouth Center for Arts and Humanities, 555 E. Connecticut Ave., Southern Pines. This last lecture in the series will focus on the Underground Railroad and Moses Grandy. Tickets are $10 for members; $15 for non-members. For information, call (910) 692-6261 or visit weymouthcenter.org or ticketmesandhills.com.

Back the PAC

The Pinecrest Athletic Club will hold its Third Annual Back the PAC fundraiser and auction on Saturday, March 16 from 6 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. at the Fair Barn. Monies raised support all Pinecrest High School sports teams. The evening includes silent and live auctions and will be catered by Elliott’s on Linden. Last year’s auction netted over $90,000. Tickets are $50 and include beer, wine, hors d’oeuvres and music by DJ King Curtis. Tickets are available at Pinecrest High School in the main office, at wwweventbrite.com or by contacting Lisa.A.Hees@gmail.com. For more information contact Christa Gilder at Christa.gilder@mzero.com.

The Rooster’s Wife

Sunday, March 3: Kaia Kater. A Montreal-born Grenadian-Canadian, Kater brings her trio and her old-time banjo skills, jazz-fueled voice and deft song craft to the Spot. Cost: $15. 

Friday, March 8: Mark Stuart, David Jacobs-Strain. This guitar-centric night features two virtuoso players and their extensive catalogs of original songs. Jacobs-Strain is a fierce slide guitar player, and a song poet from Oregon. Stuart draws from his deep rock, blues, country and folk roots. Cost: $20.

Sunday, March 10: Bruce Molsky’s Mountain Drifters. Renowned fiddler Molsky presents his new group and self-titled debut album featuring two of the best next generation traditional players — Allison de Groot on banjo, and guitarist Stash Wyslouch. Cost: $15.

Thursday, March 14: Open mic with the Parsons.

Sunday, March 17: James Maddock and The Black Feathers. It’s all-England night with rock ’n’ roll lifer Maddock and The Black Feathers sharing the bill. Expect a storyteller’s sense of narrative and the lines between folk, classic pop and rock magically blurred. Cost: $15.

Tuesday, March 19: Pumpkin Bread Band. Original acoustic music blending influences from traditional folk songs and fiddle tunes with modern sensibilities and intricate arrangements. Cost: Free to members.

Friday, March 22: Fireside Collective. This Asheville-based band plays original songs on stringed instruments, intended for modern ears. Memorable melodies, contemporary songwriting, interesting arrangements and colorful harmonies are in the offing from these festival favorites. Cost: $15.

Saturday, March 23: Sidecar Social Club. Pamela Partis is hosting this Vision 4 Moore benefit for the Moore County Veterans Support Fund of MOAA (Military Officers Association of America). From speakeasy jazz to Latin dance halls, soulful R&B to ’50s rock, a lively musical romp. Full bar available and One Nine Drive serving dinner. Cost: $35.

Sunday, March 24: Keith Ganz Trio. Jazz lovers, unite. Guitarist, composer, arranger and producer Ganz and friends deliver a splendid night of instrumental jazz. Cost: $15.

Sunday, March 31: New Reveille. String-band instruments and modal Appalachian melodies are at the core of New Reveille’s music, but there’s nothing old-fashioned about the perspective of its songs. Cost: $20.

Unless otherwise noted, doors open at 6 p.m. and music begins at 6:46 at the Poplar Knight Spot, 114 Knight St., Aberdeen. Prices above are for members. Annual memberships are $5 and available online or at the door. For more information call (910) 944-7502 or visit
www.theroosterswife.org or ticketmesandhills.com.

True South

Regrets, I’ve Got a Few

The penitence of parents

By Susan S. Kelly

Lent looms and then — BOOM — the season of gloom is upon us, those 40 days and 40 nights during which one is meant to repent. But if you’re a parent, guilt knows no season. It’s just always around, or in literary lingo, omnipresent.

Take my 38-year-old son, who not long ago revealed to me that as a child, he used to stand over the trash can while eating cookies so he wouldn’t drop crumbs on the floor. Oh, what this casual confession says. I never told him to do this; he just wanted to avoid the problem, or hearing about it. That he was so amenable pains me, the way he was when I just took him out of one school and sent him to a magnet that required a 45-minute bus ride. This would be the same son who, as a 2-year-old, kept waking at 3 a.m. for so many consecutive nights that I finally took him out of the crib, set him on the floor with a cut-up orange, and said, “Fine. Have fun. See you in the morning,” and went back to bed. No wonder that, later, when he woke up sick in the middle of the night, he always walked around my side of the bed to wake his father instead. Can I catch a little slack here? I remember when I was answering so many children’s questions and child-related telephone calls that I couldn’t take my own temperature because I couldn’t keep my mouth closed around a thermometer for three consecutive minutes.

At least I managed to rescue his brother, whom I happened upon in his room with the mini-blind cords wrapped around his neck because he’d been playing “Pirates.” The same child who, because I told him to visit the dermatologist, wouldn’t do anything about his warts except wrap three fingers on one hand in duct tape for six weeks because he’d heard it would make warts go away.

Confession may be good for the soul, but on the whole, I think I prefer yesteryear’s Lenten mite boxes, where all you had to do was part with some of your allowance. Though I probably failed in that department too, since I once discovered a child trying to extract a nickel from between the car seats with tweezers. Those kinds of memories can be assuaged with this one: How short a space in time elapsed between my daughter telling me tearfully that she didn’t want me to die (“Don’t worry, honey. It will be a long time before I die.”) to telling me that she wished I was dead. That was probably about the same era that her phone’s voicemail message was “My give-a-damn’s busted.” At least I escaped another friend’s fate, who discovered a pamphlet titled “How to Take Care of your new Tattoo” in her daughter’s Kate Spade pocketbook.

Oh, the countless little deaths I delivered, including, say, the April Fool’s morning that my daughter danced into the kitchen and merrily, mischievously, announced that she hadn’t done her homework. I barely looked up from the bagged lunch I was fixing in order to comply with her school’s eye-rolling rule of packing no disposables, only recyclables. Would it have cost me anything to play along, to acknowledge her 7-year-old April Fool’s effort? Two decades later, I still cringe at the memory.

Thank heaven that friends’ stories go a long way in the “I’m Not the Only Mean Mother” department. Names have been omitted to protect the guilty, but one friend who’d reached the end of her parenting rope with her tantrum-throwing 5-year-old picked up the phone, mimicked dialing as he writhed on the floor, and said, “Hello? Yes, is this the adoption agency? I have a child available . . . ” And this from another mother’s shame vault: The afternoon she took the car keys and got in the car and began backing out of the driveway, all the while calling, “OK, I’m leaving now, hope you can take care of yourself,” while her child wailed with despair. One acquaintance told me that when her son was disconsolate about a terrible grade he’d made on a test in fourth grade, she’d taken him in her room, sat him down, and said, “Listen. You were planned, and I know a lot of people in your class who were accidents.”

Still, surely for every painful-to-recollect instance, there’s a corresponding instance of sweetness, and I offer these up not as defenses, but to keep myself from weeping. Such as the child calling during his first week at boarding school, desperate with fear, panicked and frantic because he was washing clothes for the first time and “the washing machine in the basement is stuck and I’m required to wear a collared shirt to dinner and they’re all in there wet” — and my assurance, four hours away, that the machine was simply between cycles, wait a few minutes and it would begin chugging again. The same child I sang “My Best Beau” to, from Mame, when I was rocking him to sleep as a baby. I sang “Baby Mine” from Dumbo to his sister in the same rocking chair. The three children whose old-boyfriend box of letters and memorabilia, whose Jack Daniel’s bottle filled with sand from the summer job at the beach, and whose slab of crudely painted wood commemorated a summer camp mountain bike competition, are all still in their bedrooms somewhere, though the three themselves are long gone. You take comfort where you find it, in the baby album entries you made so as not to forget the child who said, “I did that later ago,” meaning already, or “I won, now you try to win me.”

And when that doesn’t work, there’s always the adult child to give an old scenario a new spin. “Relax, Mom,” the tweezer-wielding son reminds me. “It was a double-headed nickel.”

Terrific. Allowance issue absolved. Back to atoning.  PS

Susan S. Kelly is a blithe spirit, author of several novels, and a proud grandmother.

Birdwatch

Rare Birds

Sightings of the evening grosbeak are fewer and far between

By Susan Campbell

The evening grosbeak is one special bird: one that old-timers in Piedmont North Carolina may remember from winters many years ago. Anyone newer to our fair state has likely not seen one here. Those who have been feeding winter songbirds for decades know this bird as the one that can show up in massive flocks and has the capacity to devour black oil sunflower seed in huge quantities in no time at all. It has never been a regular here even when sightings did reliably occur every few years. During winters when northern hardwoods — ash and conifers, such as pine and spruce — set little seed, grosbeaks must fly farther afield to find food. Across New England and the upper Midwest, flocks are forced to move southward in search of sources of nuts and seeds to nourish them during the cold weather. Farther and farther they fly until they find trees laden with fruits — and feeders well-stocked with black oil sunflower seed.

Although populations are quite healthy in the western United States and Canada, evening grosbeaks are not doing well at all here in the East. In the last 50 years a huge decline (as much as 95 percent) has been documented, likely as the result of habitat alteration, from large-scale aerial spraying of boreal forest to counter diseases such as salmonella and West Nile virus. So, it is no surprise that appearances of grosbeaks as a result of eruptions this far south are few and far apart these days.

Evening grosbeaks are easy to recognize: They are a bit larger than cardinals and have varying degrees of yellow plumage. Adult males are mostly yellow with splashes of white. Females and young males only have limited amounts of yellow plumage on a pale background. But all have black wings and a black tail. The most prominent feature of these handsome, husky birds is, as their name implies, a huge white bill.

During the warmer months, grosbeaks have quite a broad diet consisting of a variety of invertebrates, buds of trees and flowering plants along with tree sap as well as larger fruits and their seeds. The birds will forage from the ground to the very tops of trees, especially in the summer months when they have young mouths to feed. Not only will they clean up fallen fruits but they will also hunt aerial insects on the wing.

There are several curious facts about these beautiful birds. One is that for a songbird, the males do not sing. Both sexes simply employ short calls to communicate, especially during the breeding season, but also during the rest of the year. Another interesting tidbit: There is no territorial defense around the nest site. The explanation for the evolution of both these strategies is that resources (especially food) are so abundant that there is no need to advertise or create a territory during a good portion of the year. At feeders, adult males may occasionally chase females and younger males, but generally they feed peacefully, shoulder-to-shoulder.

I will be watching closely for evening grosbeaks in the Sandhills and Piedmont until spring. I have memorized their calls — and have vowed to keep my sunflower feeders full through the winter. However, if any of these large, colorful birds with well-endowed bills end up in our mist nets at the banding station at Weymouth Woods, I guarantee I will be pulling out the heavy gloves as well as a big dose of courage.  PS

Susan would love to receive your wildlife sightings and photos. She can be contacted by email at susan@ncaves.com.

The Kitchen Garden

Lion’s Share

A touch of fungus for the brain

By Jan Leitschuh

What if there was a mushroom that might repair our aging brains? What if this mushroom tasted a little like lobster, was quite hard to find in grocery stores yet crazy-easy to grow?

Lion’s mane mushroom, Hericium erinaceus, is a goofy, scruffy, spongy, snowball-shaped fungus one wouldn’t immediately identify as an edible mushroom. Lacking the typical stem and cap, the soft white spines emerge from a meaty white core like a lion’s mane. Funny-looking or not, it has been used for millennia in Asia, and is still deeply revered there as a medicinal food that brings vigor to the aging, aids cognition and fights cancer.

It is rare to find fresh lion’s mane mushroom in grocery stores. Sometimes, Asian markets will offer them, or a large farmers market. One can buy powdered extracts online, but for fresh, your best bet is to grow your own. I got my kit locally, from Carolina Mushroom Growers (CMG) of Willow Springs. The former hog farm now markets fresh ’shrooms to area restaurants, and sells quarts of fresh mushrooms and pre-made kits every weekend at the North Carolina State Farmers Market in Raleigh.

Lion’s mane mushroom “is what I like to call a ‘hairy mozzarella,’” says grower Shahane Taylor, 34, of CMG. 

Though odd in appearance, lion’s mane is both eminently edible and beneficial for our bodies. It’s one of the easiest mushrooms to raise from a kit, and homegrown mushrooms are especially helpful for engaging children, for kitchen gourmets or for those without much land for growing who still enjoy playing with edible Mother Nature.

With the outdoor growing season at least a month or two off, a spring-hungry kitchen gardener might choose to order a kit and raise up a few pounds of these otherwise expensive fungi, also called hedgehog or pompom mushrooms. To avoid getting too deep into the weeds of growing edible mushrooms, beginners will probably have their best luck via a pasteurized and pre-colonized bag of hardwood chips and white, fungal mycelium. 

Your bag will have a slit or three. Many slits mean smaller ’shrooms, so stay under three. Good light is essential to a plentiful crop. The bags need brightness to fruit, so if not a sunny window, bright lights will do. Adequate humidity will also contribute to success.

Simply follow the directions, wait a few weeks, and harvest large, fresh, white, brain-like softballs of gourmet mushrooms. Get out the butter and pan-fry. Then, do it again, getting a second “flush” from the same kit.

You may have observed the characteristic lion’s mane, native to North America, tendrils or soft spines on a hike. Lion’s mane enjoys decaying hardwoods as a substrate. “This fungi is king of the forest,” says Taylor. “So when you encounter one just know you’re in the presence of royalty.”

I have seen these funny fungi growing on hardwood logs in damp mountain areas in Western North Carolina and, intrigued, recently decided to try a growing kit myself (not trusting my wild-mushroom identification powers enough to wager my liver on it).

The curious health benefit? Lion’s mane mushrooms contain bioactive substances that have beneficial effects on the body, especially the brain, heart and gut. The mushroom is being studied in connection with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s diseases.

“Did I mention it’s also a nootropic?” says Taylor. Nootropic: a substance said to increase cognitive abilities. Mmmm, let’s have us some of that.

Typically, the brain’s ability to grow and form new connections declines with age. Yet studies have found that lion’s mane mushrooms, a traditional Chinese medicine stalwart, contain two special compounds that can stimulate the growth of brain cells: hericenones and erinacines, terms derived from the mushroom’s Latin name. Who couldn’t use a few more brain cells, especially after a misspent youth? Asking for a friend . . .

A 2012 study in Malaysia suggested that consuming lion’s mane mushrooms could assist in the regeneration of nerve cells from peripheral nerve injury, and from some types of brain and spinal cord injuries, by stimulating the growth and repair of nerve cells. 

Lion’s mane extract may also help reduce the severity of brain damage after a stroke. In one study, high doses of lion’s mane mushroom extract given to rats immediately after a stroke helped decrease inflammation and reduce the size of stroke-related brain injury by 44 percent.

Other animal studies found that lion’s mane improved the functioning of the hippocampus, a region of the brain responsible for processing memories and emotional responses. Researchers suspect that improved functioning of the hippocampus explained the interesting reductions in anxious and depressive behaviors in mice given these extracts.

A study in older adults with mild cognitive impairment found that consuming three grams of powdered lion’s mane mushroom daily for four months significantly improved mental functioning, However, they say these benefits disappeared when supplementation stopped.

Another study in Japan, using men aged 50-80 years old with mild cognitive impairment, also suggested that lion’s mane is effective at improving cognition. Subjects were split into two groups and half were given dry powdered lion’s mane three times a day and observed over 16 weeks. At weeks eight, 12 and 16, the group taking lion’s mane scored significantly better on a cognitive test than the half in the placebo group

Additionally, animal studies have found that lion’s mane may help the brain protect itself against Alzheimer’s disease. Besides reducing symptoms of memory loss in mice, lion’s mane mushroom and its extracts have also been shown to prevent neuronal damage caused by amyloid-beta plaques, which accumulate in the brain during Alzheimer’s disease.

This is your mouse’s brain on lion’s mane. Any questions?

While it appears to boost mental function in humans too (judging by Amazon reviews for online powdered products), no human studies have yet examined the benefits in battling Alzheimer’s disease. But it’s a simple food, and according to a host of research, lion’s mane has been found to slow the progression, or even reverse the spread, of a variety of cancers, such as gastric, lung, leukemia, breast and colon cancers.

And, as part of its powerful anti-inflammatory nature, lion’s mane may improve our heart health and digestive system, lowering triglycerides and shrinking gastric ulcers. These fluffy ’shrooms also boost the immune system, lower blood sugar, reduce anxiety and contain powerful free-radical-fighting antioxidants that help protect our liver and skin.

And it tastes good too?

Thanks to its solid consistency when sliced and subtle maritime flavor, lion’s mane can be used as a seafood substitute in recipes. Slice the fungal “brain” into rounds and pan-fry it in olive oil or butter, or try ripping it up and making “Lion’s Mane Cakes” by following your favorite crab cake recipe — using the lion’s mane as a substitute for the crabmeat. Your favorite vegan will thank you.

Many say this mushroom pairs well with brown rice, lentils or quinoa, especially with a few flavorful veggies such as onions, garlic, ginger and fresh bell pepper — or any vegetable you think might pair well with shrimp or crab — for seasoning. The flavor is mild, and will pick up the flavors of its companions.

To harvest, slice or twist a softball-sized “brain” off the grow bag. It will keep a day or two in a fridge crisper in a paper bag, but no longer. Best to cook and freeze, if you can’t eat your harvest all at once.

Slice this monster mushroom into half-inch “steaks,” as the interior is solid and meaty. Excess water may ruin your intended dish, since this mushroom can be water-filled under some conditions. So, using a dry pan, cook the steaks for 3-5 minutes a side to drive out excess moisture. Add butter to the pan and finish cooking them until golden brown. 

For information on local lion’s mane (and other) mushroom-growing kits, contact Carolina Mushroom Farm at  (919) 593-2164.  PS

Jan Leitschuh is a local gardener, avid eater of fresh produce and co-founder of the Sandhills Farm to Table Cooperative.

Southwords

Be My Valentine ‒ for Life

You may get a good laugh out of it

By Susan S. Kelly

I don’t know how you’re spending Valentine’s Day, but if you’re feeling blue, hie yourself to the Harris Teeter around 5 p.m. and hang out around the flower counter. Just watching the clerks pumping out last-minute arrangements for all those lost men scrambling to purchase posies is bound to make you laugh. If that fails, call a single friend to regale you with fun facts about dating after 40. A favorite is my pal who has a “guillotine realization” for blind dates. As in, “He was wearing a necklace.” Chop. Another has a Jesus clause in her marriage: If he ever gets religion, she’s excused. And for those of you eyeing that 10-years-younger mate, remember this: You’ll have to take on all their 10-years-younger enthusiasms too, for organic food and exhaustively researching kindergartens. Ugh. Makes reaching the point in a marriage where you get up every morning, ask each other how you slept, and actually answer each other seem far preferable.

Valentine’s is an industry now, but then so are weddings, and if you don’t believe me, ask my friend who went around at his daughter’s reception offering $20 bills to people if they’d just go home. Now, even “the ask” is elaborately planned for some mountain top or sunset beach scenario. As opposed to, say, the way my husband asked me to marry him, in the parking lot of the SAE house, where we’d gone with the rest of a frat friend’s reception carousers because we’d broken every glass at Hope Valley Country Club in Durham. It just doesn’t get any more romantic than that, unless you count my son’s friend who let everyone know he’d gotten engaged by sending a mass email with “Man Overboard” in the subject line. My husband and I — well, OK, my mother — set my wedding date depending not on weather or venue availability, but by asking the folks at Tiffany’s how long it would take to get the invitations printed and counting backward from there. My sister was so jealous of my getting married. She said, “Just think. Now you can do anything to your hair and he still has to love you.”

And then, happily ever after. Or as my other sister put it, “I’ve loved him ever since he had that awful The Price Is Right furniture.” Forty years on, I’m still wondering if I get marital points for putting on mascara for my husband just for dinner. But I gave up on wishing for a What Now? day many anniversaries ago. A What Now? day is a Saturday when your husband just follows you around all day and says, “What needs doing now?” Although I once read the lips of a new bride dancing that first dance with her new husband. “Turn me now,” she instructed him. Wonder how that’s going.

Ah, the nuptial valleys and peaks. Not the toothpaste caps, or shirts put inside out in the laundry basket, rather, the day my father came home for lunch, as he did every day, and it wasn’t ready.  “What have you been doing all morning?” he asked my mother. For the first and last time, I bet. Or my sister, who once proclaimed, “All we talk about are calendars.” Yes, at one stage, marital conversation gets pared down to timetables.

And while toothpaste tops may be a cliché, the bathroom does seem to be the locale for many a Grrr moment. Take this direct quote from an email: “This amazes me. We’ve had the rug on our bathroom floor for 10 years. D (name withheld to protect the guilty) steps on it when he gets out of the shower, stands on it while brushing his teeth, ponders on it while on the commode. Today when I asked him to bring the rug up from the dryer, he asked what bathroom it belonged in.”

Still, the bathroom moment I recall most fondly took place not in a bathroom, but in an aisle at Lowe’s. It’s a weeknight in a nearly vacant, fluorescently lit, concrete-floored, utterly charmless big box store. My husband and I are debating a new shower door for a bathroom renovation. Most decisions are easy: a towel bar on the outside, a grab bar on the inside. Small house and aging issues we’re used to, and don’t even blink.

We look at those doors a long time, slide them back and forth, compare, dither.  I’m leaning toward the clear, see-through panel — contemporary, clean, trendy — and a significant departure from our old frosted one. My husband nods, thinks, and finally says, “You know, I just don’t think I can go there.” 

I laugh. “Who do you think is going to be looking at us besides each other?”

He laughs too, then, admitting to an idiotic objection, after 28 years. Never mind that both of us had nine years of two to four roommates before we got married, and have experienced countless shared-bathrooms oops moments on family vacations.

But then, I lift my shoulders and say, “You know, I can’t go there, either.”

And there, in the middle of Lowe’s, on a weekday evening, under fluorescent lights, the pair of us double over, giggling at our ridiculous, bogus-modest, long-married selves. If that ain’t the essence of romance, I don’t know what is.

And they’ve lived happily ever after. With the clear shower door.  PS

Susan Kelly is a blithe spirit, author of several novels, and proud grandmother.

In The Spirit

Shaken or Stirred?

A brief primer on the fundamentals of icing the perfect cocktail

By Tony Cross

Having discussed the different shapes and sizes of ice, and how it’s used as an ingredient and tool when making a cocktail, it’s time to explain how to use the ice you’ve molded at home when you’re stirring or shaking a cocktail. Everyone knows how to shake it, right? Wrong. Once on a weekend vacation in the mountains, I ordered a drink and the bartender shook my Manhattan. I didn’t have the heart to say anything — I drank it and left. It pays to know the difference.

Let me preface this by saying that I do not consider myself a professional bartender. I used to run a restaurant and bar, but I have never been “shown the ropes” from men and women at craft cocktail establishments who have been doing this for years and years. I taught myself by watching and reading. I’ll share what works for me, but keep this in mind: Everyone has their own style; you need to find yours. Cocktails have been a passion, and I’m lucky enough to get paid for what I do, but a professional? No, no, no. Please go see Gary Crunkleton at his bar in Chapel Hill. You’re welcome.

When stirring a cocktail, first you’ll need a mixing vessel. There are plenty of beautiful ones to choose from online, but if you don’t want to wait, and already have a barspoon, you can use a glass pint. You always want your vessel as cold as possible. If it’s at room temperature, your cocktail will be over-diluted when you finish stirring. The goal is to make sure your cocktail is very cold and properly diluted. Before you start stirring, you’ll need to understand why and what kind of cocktails to stir. A good rule of thumb is to stir clear drinks. By “clear” I mean cocktails that call for spirits, vermouth and bitters. If your cocktail calls for juice, an egg white and/or dairy, do not stir. You’ll want to shake those.

As the bartender mentioned previously should have known, a Manhattan is stirred. You’ll take your ice-cold vessel, and add 2-3 dashes of aromatic bitters, 1 ounce of sweet vermouth and 2 ounces of rye whiskey (for example). Then add your ice. Use smaller cubes of ice (1 inch square) or cracked ice. If you use larger pieces, your drink will be harder to stir while getting the proper temperature and dilution. Take your barspoon (typically around 12 inches long, with a very thin neck) and place the bowl of the spoon (the outside) to the inside wall at the bottom of the vessel. I am right-handed, so I hold the neck of the spoon 3/4 of the way up in-between my ring and middle finger. The remaining neck of the spoon travels on the inside of my index finger and thumb. I stir clockwise, and make sure that the back of the spoon almost always touches the inside of the mixing vessel while I stir. To do this, you’ll need to let the neck of the spoon rotate clockwise in your hand while you’re stirring. If you’re just starting out, I recommend flipping the barspoon upside down. It makes it easier to focus on getting the hand-to-barspoon placement right without having to concentrate on the bowl of the spoon fighting with the ice cubes. Another trick is to slightly bend the bottom of the neck (next to the bowl); this will make it easier to control the ice cubes.  For a quick visual, search for “Jamie Boudreau stirring” on YouTube. It’s a minute and a half tutorial, and it’s literally how I was taught. Stirring takes a little longer than shaking a cocktail because of the dilution factor. Practice makes perfect, and your stirring needs to be as smooth as possible. You shouldn’t really hear any noise while stirring. When shaking, however . . .

Be noisy as hell! I’ve seen many bartenders shake different ways. As long as you’re not over-diluting your cocktail, you’re good to go. Yes, it has to be ice-cold too. There are a couple of ways to over-dilute while shaking — shake too long; use the wrong ice (wet); or breaking up the ice cubes into little shards that dilute your drink in addition to the time you spent shaking.

When using standard mixing tins for shaking, you’ll have a large and small tin. Add ingredients and ice into the small shaker, and place the larger shaker on top, but not straight on top. You’ll want to give it a slight curve, kind of like a banana. Give the top of the vessel a firm hit from the palm of your hand to make sure it’s sealed. There will be a firm seal on about 1/8 of the tins but that’s OK. Next, flip the sealed vessel around so that the small vessel is at the top. You do this because if any liquid comes out, it will go toward you and not your guests. Because I’m right-handed, my left hand is firmly holding the large vessel (with bottom facing away from me) and my right hand is holding the small vessel, facing toward me.

I shake my drinks over my right shoulder, in a back-and-forth/pushing-and-pulling fashion. I use either 4-5 small cubes or 1 large cube and 2 small cubes. You do not want your ice to bang back and forth from one vessel end to the next. Instead, try to make sure the ice is being pulled back toward you as soon as it is rocketing away from you. When you finish shaking (around 10 seconds), place the connected tins in your left hand. Remember the small seal connecting the tins right before you started shaking? Look for that. Right where the seal starts to separate is where you’ll take the heel of your right hand and hit it. Doing so correctly will break the seal, allowing you to strain your drink.

Never bang the sealed tin against the bar or corner of a table. If you’re using a Boston shaker (large shaking tin and pint glass), the glass will break. As far as your shaking skills go, you’ll know when you’re getting it right after you strain your cocktail and see that the ice cubes look more spherical than before you used them. You’re only going to be able to achieve this while shaking fast. As the saying goes, wake the drink up, don’t put it to sleep. One last thing: Never shake a drink facing your friends or guests. If the tins slip out of your hands — which can always happen — you’ll knock them out. Turn to the side, away from them.

When starting to stir or shake for the first time, dilution is what you’re trying to perfect. It’s easier (at least it was for me) to feel how cold your drink is than to know when to stop stirring and shaking. I recommend purchasing a small digital scale to measure the ingredients, minus ice, in ounces before and after straining it into the glass. You’re aiming for a 1/2-ounce increase after you’ve shaken or stirred. Now get to work.  PS

Tony Cross is a bartender who runs cocktail catering company Reverie Cocktails in Southern Pines.

PinePitch

Reflections of Africa

The Arts Council of Moore County presents an exhibition exploring the unique diversity of African culture and wildlife showcasing works by South African artist Garth Swift, Pinehurst artist Jessie Mackay, and artist and Sandhills native Patricia Thomas at the Campbell House, 482 E. Connecticut Ave, Southern Pines. The exhibit is free and open to the public and runs from Feb. 1-22, 9 a.m.—5 p.m. The opening reception is Friday, Feb. 1 from 6-8 p.m. Weekend hours are Saturday, Feb. 16, 10 a.m.–4 pm. For more information call (910) 692-2787 or go to www.MooreArt.org.

Brrrrrrrrr!

Come join the Pinehurst Police Department for the annual Polar Plunge to benefit the Special Olympics of North Carolina on Saturday, Feb. 23, at the Pinehurst Marina, 1 Denichilo Court in Pinehurst. The jump fee/donation is $50, and there will be a costume contest with prizes. For more information call (910) 417-7932 or visit www.vopnc.org.

Battle of Wills

Watch the works of William Shakespeare performed by Moore County high school students competing for a trip to New York City, hoping to join students from 54 other branches of the English-Speaking Union in its 36th annual Shakespeare Competition. The students will perform on Saturday, Feb. 16, at The Village Chapel in Pinehurst, from 3-5 p.m. Admission is free to the public, and a reception will follow the event. Also performing a selection of scenes from a Shakespeare comedy will be Dr. Jonathan Drahos and Carolanne Marano of Pinehurst. For more information contact Bob Roman at (910) 725-0333.

Writer in Residence

Georgann Eubanks will read from her book The Month of Their Ripening: North Carolina Heritage Foods through the Year at the Weymouth Center for Arts & Humanities, 555 E. Connecticut Ave., Southern Pines, at 3 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 16. For more information call (910) 692-6261 or visit weymouthcneter.org.

The Bolshoi Live

A Gypsy, a rose, a tavern, a mountain hideaway and a bullfight. What’s not to love? Enjoy the Metropolitan Opera’s HD Live Series showing of the Bolshoi Ballet’s performance of Carmen at 1 p.m. on Feb. 2 at the Sunrise Theater, 244 N.W. Broad St., in Southern Pines. For more information visit the Sunrise website at www.sunrisetheater.com.

Meet the Authors

Thursday, Feb. 7: Kimmery Martin: Queen of Hearts. 5 p.m.

Wednesday, Feb. 13: Chanavia Haddock: Miracle. A children’s book geared to 3-8-year-olds. 5 p.m.

Sunday, Feb. 17: Sarah Edwards: What the Sun Sees. Poetry reading. 2 p.m.

Thursday, Feb. 21: Mesha Maren: Sugar Run. 5 p.m.

All events are at The Country Bookshop, 140 N.W. Broad St., Southern Pines. For more information go to www.thecountrybookshop.biz.

Heart ‘n Soul of Jazz

The Arts Council of Moore County presents vocalist and trombonist Aubrey Logan joining other world-class musicians in a celebration of three decades of great jazz at 8 p.m. on Feb. 16 in the Cardinal Ballroom of the Carolina Hotel, 80 Carolina Vista in Pinehurst. Tickets are $75 for VIP and $65 for preferred seating. For more information go to www.mooreart.org and purchase tickets at www.ticketmesandhills.com.

Great Room Concert

The Ciompi Quartet, comprised of Duke University professors Eric Pritchard, Hsiao-mei Ku, Jonathan Bagg and Caroline Stinson, will be joined by clarinetist Allan Ware for a performance on Sunday, Feb. 3, at 2 p.m. in the Great Room at the Weymouth Center, 555 E. Connecticut Ave., Southern Pines. Tickets are $30 for non-members; $20 for members. For more information call (910) 692-6261.

Saddle Up

The Carolina Philharmonic performs a selection of the film scores and classic pop songs that helped define the Wild West. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. on Feb. 16 at Lee Auditorium, Pinecrest High School, 250 Voit Gilmore Lane, Southern Pines. For more information call (910) 687-0287 or go to www.carolinaphil.org.

Found It

Learn how to use a compass and map to complete a scavenger hunt at the Weymouth Woods-Sandhills Nature Preserve, 1024 Fort Bragg Road in Southern Pines. Geared toward 6 to 10-year-olds, the Wildings program event begins at 10 a.m. on Feb. 23. For more information call (910) 692-2167 or go to www.ncparks.gov.

Rooster’s Wife

Friday, Feb. 1: Freddy and Francine. Fulltime pros, singing, writing and acting. Collaborators with Dead & Co. keyboardist Jeff Chimenti on the musical direction and casting for the 2017 off-Broadway musical Red Roses, Green Gold featuring the music of The Grateful Dead. Cost: $15.

Sunday, Feb. 10: The Contenders. Music and beautiful harmony infused with country and rock, folk and bluegrass. Cost: $20.

Wednesday, Feb. 13: Open mic with The Parsons. Cost: $5.

Thursday, Feb. 14: Seth Walker. Celebrate Valentine’s Day with this blues singer, guitarist and songwriter. Flowers, cocktails and music. Cost: $20.

Sunday, Feb. 17: The Kennedys. At over a million miles of roadwork including two stints with Nanci Griffith’s Blue Moon Orchestra, Pete and Maura Kennedy show no signs of slowing down. Cost: $15.

Thursday, Feb. 21: Asleep at the Wheel. A pair of fiddles, a bass, an acoustic guitar, songs and stories. Western swing isn’t dead, it’s Asleep at the Wheel. Cost: $69.

Saturday, Feb. 23: John Cowan and Darin and Brook Aldridge. The voice of Newgrass joins two-time International Blues Music Association vocalist of the year and her crazy good husband. Cost: $30.

Sunday, Feb. 24: Aaron Burdette. With lyrics that are witty and poetic all at once, his musical style is a seamless blend of Americana, country, blues, bluegrass and folk-rock. Cost: $15.

Thursday, Feb. 28: Jeanne Jolly. Artistry that encompasses the earthiness of American roots music, a hint of jazz and the emotionality of soul balladry. Cost: $20.

Unless otherwise noted, doors open at 6 p.m. and music begins at 6:46 at the Poplar Knight Spot, 114 Knight St., Aberdeen. Prices above are for members. Annual memberships are $5 and available online or at the door. For more information call (910) 944-7502 or visit www.theroosterswife.org or ticketmesandhills.com.

Mom, Inc.

A Running Dialogue

Keeping a list, checking it twice

By Renee Phile

“I hurt my foot, and I don’t think I can sit through church,” he said on a rainy Sunday morning about 10 a.m. We needed to leave at 10:15 to get there on time, which we almost never do.

“You’re fine. Get dressed. And don’t wear the same clothes you slept in,” I said, reinforcing the obvious just to be on the safe side.

He groaned. “My foot hurts like really bad! I know you think I’m faking, but I’m not. Honest, I’m not. I can’t make it through church with this.”

“Be ready in 15 minutes.”

Yes, this took place. Yes, he went to church. Yes, his foot is fine. No, we didn’t make it on time.

With two boys under my own feet, life is always in motion. Trips to school, to wrestling practice, to the grocery store, to youth group, to band practice, to galaxies far, far away. Sometimes as I’m dozing off at night and I think about what I did that day, all that comes to mind is a whirlwind. It goes by so fast that I decided to lasso the cyclone. In an effort to preserve the moments I have with these two, I write down the things they say. Here is a small sample from 10-year-old Kevin:

“I am a wizard at Battleship, and you are . . . just a starter, Mommy. You need some major tips.” (He beat me 7-1.)

“I have been waiting an hour and only have an inch of macaroni!”

(Ruby Tuesdays. Sunday afternoon. The wait was short but the portion didn’t fulfill his macaroni dreams.)

“I need to get my Halloween costume ready.” (It’s June.)

“Can we eat macaroni every night?” (He asks this before I go to the grocery store. Every week.)

“I don’t get why my sweet potato counts as dessert! That’s not fair!” (Hey, I tried.)

“If it was thundering while we were having Halloween, I would look even creepier.” (Again, it was June).

“I’m kind of glad I didn’t wait until I was 12 to jump off the diving board.” (When he was 7, I told him we weren’t leaving the pool until he jumped off the diving board. Three years later I’m some kind of savant.)

“I will take care of you when you get old. David probably won’t, so I will.” (Thank you, Kevin. By the way, can we put that in writing? Just sign here.)

“Can I please go to Grandma Jean’s house? I know she misses me. Can we have a huge Nerf gun war?” (Undoubtedly, the part she misses the most.)

And here are a few of my counteroffers:

“Your foot’s fine. You don’t even limp unless you think someone is watching you.” (Sunday, theater of the absurd.)

“Quit reading your Lego directions in church.” (Whose kid is this?)

“Stop taking selfies in church.” (Oh yes, he did.)

“No, you can’t use your fork after you dropped it on the floor.” (Temporarily thwarted in his attempt to devour an inch of macaroni.)

“You don’t need to figure out your Halloween costume right this minute.” (Did I mention it was June?)

“So, what do I do, Admiral?” (Let’s face it, I need Battleship help.)

“No, you cannot wear that shirt and those pants today. You wore them the last two days.” (Some things cannot be stressed enough.)

“Grandma Jean is a pacifist.” (Nerfwise.)

So, there you go. I never know what will come out of his mouth, and to be honest, I usually never know what will come out of mine either. PS

Renee Phile loves being a teacher, even if it doesn’t show at certain moments.